The Abstinence (Ep. 809)

George's girlfriend has mono, preventing them from having sex for 6 weeks.  Initially, George doesn't like it, but now he's thinking more clear than he ever has before.  The opposite is happening to Elaine whose boyfriend is studying for his medical board exams.  Kramer sees a group of guys standing outside Monks smoking and decides to invite them into his apartment to smoke.  This starts a 72 hour stretch of non-stop smoking for Kramer and after his looks go downhill, he runs to Jackie Chiles to sue the tobacco companies.

Jerry keeps getting bumped from career day at his middle school and his agent Katie thinks he deserves better.  So, she books him an entire 2 hour assembly.  George is going to help him out, but ends up having sex with a waitress and loses all his intelligence.  Kramer takes a settlement of having his face on a cigarette billboard and ruins Jackie once again.

Interesting quote: "What happened to your face?  It looks like an old catcher's mitt!" - Jerry

Grade: A+ (The entire episode is loaded with comedy goodness)