The Andrea Doria (Ep. 810)

George thinks he's getting the new apartment that opened up across the hall, but his tenant association gives it to a survivor of the SS Andrea Doria.  To fight this, George tells the association all the ways he has suffered in his life.  Horrified at these true stories, they feel George has suffered the most and give it to him instead.  Unfortunately, Elaine's boyfriend bribes the landlord and gets the apartment.

Jerry helps Newman get a transfer to Hawaii by delivering his route, but he does too good of a job and Newman doesn't get the transfer.  Kramer, not wanting to go to the doctor for his cough, sees a vet instead and starts taking dog medication.  Elaine dates a bad-breaker-upper who says she has a big head.  At first she's not bother, but then it starts to get to her.  Eventually, she decides to stab him with a fork.

Interesting quote: "In closing, these stories have not been embellished because they need no embellishment.  They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man." - George

Grade: C (Not one of their best efforts)