The English Patient (Ep. 817)

Elaine is bothered when her boyfriend and apparently everyone else is absolutely in love with the movie The English Patient, which she hates.  Jerry goes to Florida to help his parents move into their new condo and incites an 80-year old man named Izzy Mandlebaum to injure himself trying to lift too much weights.

Kramer asks Jerry to pick up some Cubans (people from Cuba as it turns out) so that they can roll cigars for him.  Unfortunately, they turn out to be Dominicans instead and Kramer loses his business opportunity.  George is mistaken for a beautiful woman's boyfriend and instead of going after the woman, George has to know why she's attracted to her boyfriend.

Interesting quote:

"Son, this is the most wonderful and thoughtful thing you've ever done for me." Morty, talking about a #1 Dad shirt

"You know, I bought you a cadillac...twice." - Jerry

Grade: D (About as bad as The English Patient)

The Pothole (Ep. 816)

Jerry accidently knocks his girlfriend Jenna's toothbrush into the toilet and she uses it before he can tell her.  Now he won't kiss her and she doesn't know why because he won't tell her.  Kramer, upset at the filthiness of the highway, adopts a one mile stretch.  He gets a bright idea to widen the lanes, but this obviously ends up causing problems.

George drops his keys into a pothole and talks to someone with the city about getting them up, but since he won't pay them he has to do the work himself.  Elaine gets frustrated when a Chinese restaurant refuses to deliver to her apartment building, so she takes up residence in a janitor's closet across the street.

Interesting quote:

"So the plan is to secretly sterilize her mouth?" - George

"By the time I'm through with her mouth, she'll be able to eat off it." - Jerry

Grade: A (One of the best episodes about joining the plots together)

Readers

Just a quick note, I've noticed a few more readers of my blog lately and that makes me happy.  Also, I wanted to note that when Kim and I leave for the Peace Corp I will continue to use this blog to update everyone.  It's much easier than sending letters and email to everyone I know, but I'll probably do a little bit of that too.  I do hope to get Kim to write a few times in here, but she's not really big on the blogging thing.

The Susie (Ep. 815)

Elaine is mistakenly called Susie by Peggy, a coworker, and when Peggy makes insulting comments about Elaine, she decides not to correct her.  This eventually causes problems when Peterman starts giving assignments to Susie and then Peggy has a problem with Susie too.  Kramer makes a bet in Jerry's name because he has a gambling problem and Jerry wins.  Unfortunately, Mike (the bookie) can't pay up, and when Jerry accidently slams Mike's fingers in the trunk of his car he thinks Jerry is out to get him.

George wants to go to the Yankee Pinstripe ball with his girlfriend Allison, but once he realizes she's going to break up with him he avoids her to prevent it.  This works for awhile, until she gets Kramer to break it off with him.  Elaine later tells Peterman that Susie killed herself and he holds a big memorial service for him.  Mike, who's been trapped in Jerry's trunk, comes running in claiming that Jerry killed Susie.

Interesting quote:

"Wait 'til you see the dress that she's got.  It's backless.  I'm finally going to make a great entrance." - George

"Backless?  You going to back her in?" - Elaine

Grade: A- (Bizarre episode, but those are usually the best ones)

The Van Buren Boys (Ep. 814)

Jerry starts to wonder about Ellen, the girl he's dating, when everyone thinks she's a loser except him and his parents.  Kramer has a run-in with some Van Buren gang members and accidently throws up their secret hand sign leading them to believe he's a former member.  Peterman wants Elaine to write a book about his life, but his life is actually too boring, so he buys stories from Kramer's life.

George is left in charge of selecting a student for the foundation's scholarship and he chooses a kid just like him who is actually interested in architecture.  Things go wrong when he decides at the last minute to not pursue architecture and so George denies him the scholarship.  This leads the kid to join the Van Buren gang.

Interesting quote: "You know how it is, every group has its loser...like us with Elaine." - George

Grade: B (Funny moments, but not the entire show)

NCAA playoffs (Week 6)

As I predicted last week, some pretty big changes to the bracket for this week.  Although, I didn't expect Oklahoma to demolish Texas Tech like they did.  I know I have Oklahoma beating Texas Tech in my bracket too, but I really think they proved themselves.  Also, unlike the BCS, all three Big 12 teams will get into my bracket, deservedly so.  One last thing...I think the ACC is going to set the record for most different first place teams in one season (so far, I think we've had Florida St., Ga Tech, Va Tech, Maryland, Wake Forest).  Next week, Alabama looks to finish off their first perfect regular season since 1992.

The Money (Ep. 813)

Jerry's parents sell the Cadillac to Jack Klompus for $6,000 because they think Jerry needs the money, so he goes through a long and tiring process of buying it back from Jack.  George finds out that his parents have a good deal of money and they decide to blow it all before they die instead of leave it to him.  Kramer can't sleep next to his new girlfriend because she has the "jimmy" legs.  Elaine loses her Presidential pay and stock options when Peterman returns from Burma out of the blue.

Interesting quote: "Yeah.  I gotta be honest with you Kramer.  You might be more than just a couple of tweaks away from a healthy relationship." - Elaine

Grade: C+

Limbs & Branches

The other day I got Limbs & Branches, the new cd from Jon Foreman (lead singer of Switchfoot), and it's amazing.  If you like the songwriting of Switchfoot, but want something different in the way of music, this is for you.  He's mostly acoustic and the lyrics are much, much deeper than Switchfoot.  He actually has 4 EPs out called; Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall, but this is sort of a compilation of the four.  I highly recommend this cd.

The Comeback (Ep. 812)

A coworker tells George to slow down on the shrimp he's eating because "the ocean called and they're running out of shrimp" and George can't think of a good line until later.  He's determined to use the line, even after finding out that the guy left the company.  Elaine upsets a video store worker after she watches another worker's movie picks.

After watching a movie about a coma victim, Kramer decides that he wants the plug pulled if he ever goes into a coma.  He is then shocked to find out that people come out of comas.  Jerry finds out that the manager of a tennis pro shop is terrible at tennis and agrees to throw a game of tennis against him to make him look good in front of his wife.

Interesting quote: "Oh yeah, well the Jerk Store called and they're running out of you!" - George

Grade: B- (Except for George's comeback line scene, this is not very good).

Let it snow!

This morning we got our second snow of the season, last Tuesday was the first.  I think (and I could be wrong because I don't remember the early years of my childhood) that this is the earliest snow I've ever seen.  Back when I was in Boone, we had snow on Thanksgiving weekend, but we've never to my knowledge had snow here before Thanksgiving.

Granted it didn't stick Tuesday or this morning, but it's still snow and still beautiful.  Also, just to let anybody who is unfamiliar with the area know, this weather is highly unusual.  Not only do we not see snow before Thanksgiving, but we rarely even see snow before the New Year.  I hope it keeps up though, it would be nice to have a white Christmas my last one here for a while.

The Little Jerry (Ep. 811)

Kramer, fed up with subpar eggs, decides to buy a chicken and get his own eggs.  Much to his surprise his chicken, Little Jerry Seinfeld, is really a rooster.  Jerry bounced a check at the bodega and can't get it taken down before his parents find out.  Elaine dates a man who shaves his head, but once she finds out he used to have thick hair she asks him to grow it back.  He does, but realizes he's going bald.

George using the foundation gets to go a women's penetentiary.  While there he meets a woman and asks her out on a date.  They begin dating and all is well until she is up for parole and he's afraid he's going to have to have a normal relationship.  In order to get Jerry's check taken down at the bodega, Kramer offers to let Little Jerry participate in cockfighting.

Interesting quote: "These are not 'scraps.'  These are historic remains of a once great society of hair." -George on his little bit of hair

Grade: B+ (Kramer's surprise on having a rooster instead of a hen)

The Andrea Doria (Ep. 810)

George thinks he's getting the new apartment that opened up across the hall, but his tenant association gives it to a survivor of the SS Andrea Doria.  To fight this, George tells the association all the ways he has suffered in his life.  Horrified at these true stories, they feel George has suffered the most and give it to him instead.  Unfortunately, Elaine's boyfriend bribes the landlord and gets the apartment.

Jerry helps Newman get a transfer to Hawaii by delivering his route, but he does too good of a job and Newman doesn't get the transfer.  Kramer, not wanting to go to the doctor for his cough, sees a vet instead and starts taking dog medication.  Elaine dates a bad-breaker-upper who says she has a big head.  At first she's not bother, but then it starts to get to her.  Eventually, she decides to stab him with a fork.

Interesting quote: "In closing, these stories have not been embellished because they need no embellishment.  They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man." - George

Grade: C (Not one of their best efforts)

Just thought I'd mention...

I read a newstory the other day about a woman here in Durham named Lavonia Allison.

Here at work today I just sent a package to a guy named Hall Melton.

Just some odd stuff that only people from school would get.

The Abstinence (Ep. 809)

George's girlfriend has mono, preventing them from having sex for 6 weeks.  Initially, George doesn't like it, but now he's thinking more clear than he ever has before.  The opposite is happening to Elaine whose boyfriend is studying for his medical board exams.  Kramer sees a group of guys standing outside Monks smoking and decides to invite them into his apartment to smoke.  This starts a 72 hour stretch of non-stop smoking for Kramer and after his looks go downhill, he runs to Jackie Chiles to sue the tobacco companies.

Jerry keeps getting bumped from career day at his middle school and his agent Katie thinks he deserves better.  So, she books him an entire 2 hour assembly.  George is going to help him out, but ends up having sex with a waitress and loses all his intelligence.  Kramer takes a settlement of having his face on a cigarette billboard and ruins Jackie once again.

Interesting quote: "What happened to your face?  It looks like an old catcher's mitt!" - Jerry

Grade: A+ (The entire episode is loaded with comedy goodness)

Torches Together

Why burn poor and lonely under a bowl

Under a lampshade or on the shelf

Aren't you unbearably sad?

Then why burn so poor and lonely?

We'll be like torches

We'll be like torches

We'll be like torches together! Torches together

We'll be like torches

We'll be like torches

I'm not sure if anyone here has heard Mewithoutyou before, but if not then you must.  They are certainly different, but they have amazing lyrics.  I don't know if this is what the song means, but it always makes me think of Romans 12:4-5 where it talks about the church being one body.  Sure we can do good things alone, but imagine if we all worked as one!  We could do great things, if churches would start acting like The Church and not businesses competing against each other.  I realize that many churches are doing this, my hope is that ALL churches will do this.

The Chicken Roaster (Ep. 808)

A Kenny Roger's Chicken Roaster moves in next door to Jerry and Kramer's apartment and a large red neon chicken is glaring into Kramer's window.  He can't take it any longer and so he switches apartments with Jerry since he's a heavy sleeper.  Kramer in the meantime attempts to shut down the restaurant since they won't cut off the sign.

Elaine abuses the J. Peterman expense account and almost gets away with it except for a Sable hat that George bought while with her.  She tries to get it back, but he left it at a date's house in an attempt to secure a second date.  He not only loses the hat, but also the date.  Elaine goes to Burma to get Peterman to sign off on the purchase, but he wants to see the hat first.

Interesting quote: "I'm like a commercial jingle.  First it's a little irritating.  You hear it a few times.  Then you're humming it in the shower." - George

Grade: C+ (The only funny part was Kramer and Jerry switching apartments and also personalities)

NCAA playoffs (Week 5)

Not really any changes this week at the top, so nothing really to report.  Hopefully next week after the Texas Tech/Oklahoma game there will be some changes.  Or The Citadel could beat Florida...I'm only kidding about that.

The Checks (Ep. 807)

Jerry keeps getting hundreds of twelve cent royalty checks from a Japanese variety show, but endorsing them is hurting his hand.  Elaine's new boyfriend is obsessed with the song Desperado and gets upset when Elaine tries to pick a song just for them.  Kramer is having fun with some Japanese tourists but has a misconception of the Yen to Dollar exchange rate and spends all of their money.

George hires a group of carpet cleaners who are a front for a religious cult and gets upset when they don't try to convert him.  Later when they come to clean the carpets at Yankee stadium, they actually convert Mr. Wilhelm.  George also tries to pitch the television show to a group of Japanese television producers.

Interesting quote: "Who buys an umbrella anyway?  You can get them for free in the coffee shop in the metal cans." - George

Grade: B-

The Fatigues (Ep. 806)

Elaine is frustrated with the guy running the mailroom at J. Peterman and tries to fire him but is intimidated by him and instead promotes him. Unfortunately, he's highly unqualified for this position and the other people quit in protest. Kramer throws a party for a large group of Jewish singles, but doesn't know how to cook for that many people. Frank had a bad experience cooking in the military, but agrees to do it anyway.

Jerry is frustrated when he finds out that his girlfriend's mentor is dating Kenny Bania. This leads him to start mentoring Bania on his comedy routine. George has to give a presentation on Risk Management, but doesn't know anything about the subject.

Interesting quote: "I've risen like a phoenix from Arizona!" - Frank Costanza

Grade: A-

The Package (Ep. 805)

Elaine gets frustrated because she notices her medical chart says she's difficult. When she mentions it to the doctor, he just makes another note and refuses to see her. She goes all over NYC, but every doctor has a copy of her records. Jerry wants a new cd player and so Kramer breaks it and sends it through the mail trying to get the USPS to pay for the damages. George sends provocative pictures of himself to a girl who works at the photo store. Later Jerry is investigated for mail fraud.

Interesting quote:
"I was look at my chart at the doctor's office and it said I was difficult. Why would they write that?" - Elaine
"They've obviously gotten to know you." - Jerry

Grade: A- (Classic episode)

The Little Kicks (Ep. 804)

Elaine decides to throw a party for the workers at the J. Peterman catalog.  George weasels his way into coming to the party and gets an eyeful when Elaine starts dancing.  She's awful and all of a sudden the workers have no respect for her.  She thinks it's George's fault and tells one girl to stay away from him.  She is intrigued by this "bad guy" that she thinks George is and so she starts dating him.

Jerry gets roped into bootlegging movies when Kramer's friend, Brodie, gets sick in the middle of Death Blow.  As it turns out, Jerry is pretty good at it and Brodie wants him to do another film.  He does it reluctantly, but then has issues with Brodie and backs out completely.  George trying to prove he really is bad decides to do the job, but gets caught.

Interesting quote: "It's more like a full-body dry heave set to music." - George on Elaine's dancing

Grade: A- (Sweet, fancy moses!  Glorious television)

The Bizarro Jerry (Ep. 803)

Elaine decides to use the "just be friends" line with her current boyfriend, Kevin, and much to her surprise he agrees.  She starts hanging out with him instead of the current group, and decides that Kevin is the opposite of Jerry.  Kramer gets a job at a Brandt/Leeland.  George gets "in" with a group of models when he starts showing a picture of Jerry's girlfriend and claiming it's his dead fiancee Susan.

The girl Jerry is dating is gorgeous, but she has "man-hands" and Jerry can't get past it.  Elaine then meets Kevin's friends, Gene and Feldman, who are also the exact opposite of George and Kramer.  She decides that she's had enough of her old group who is very immature and hangs out with her new friends.  Unfortunately, she's a little too much for them to handle and they disown her instead.

Interesting quote:  "I don't know if you've noticed it lately, but I've been drifting aimlessly." - Kramer

Grade: B+ (Another episode absolutely jam packed with good stuff)

Side note: This was episode 137 of 180, so I have 43 episodes left to watch and 47 days left in the year.  So, I am slightly ahead of schedule on finishing my quest.  I assume most people have stopped reading these posts, so I'm probably doing this only for me.

Creating character

Great article by Adam Smith over at Relevant about his recent divorce.  While he's talking about divorce it's about so much more than that and I feel everyone should read it.

The Soul Mate (Ep. 802)

Jerry starts dating Pam, who works at a bookstore, but he's not crazy about her until Kramer shows interest in her.  Kramer not only shows interest, but believes she is the one for him.  Elaine believes that she doesn't want to have kids and meets a guy who feels the same way...then he goes and gets a vasectomy to prove his dedication and she's not so sure.  Kramer and Jerry find out that Pam doesn't want kids so they go to get them as well, and Newman also since he is in love with Elaine.  In the end, only Kramer gets the procedure done.

George is suspicious that the people on the board of the foundation think he killed Susan.  Using Jerry's sugestion, he puts a tape recorder in a briefcase and leaves it in the board room.  Unfortunately, there's an accident and the briefcase gets ruined.  It's later discover, although not by George, that they really do just assume that he killed her, but they are apparently okay with it.

Interesting quote: "She can bring home the bacon and fry it in the pan." - Kramer

Grade: B (A speechless Kramer is something to behold)

The Foundation (Ep. 801)

George is through mourning the loss of Susan and is ready to get back to his old life of "single" George.  Unfortunately, Jerry quotes The Wrath of Khan to Susan's parents and they all of a sudden feel the need to create a foundation to remember her life...and put George on the board.  Elaine is left in charge of the J. Peterman catalogue when Peterman goes crazy and moves to Burma.  Kramer takes karate in a kids class and becomes a martial arts expert.

Interesting quote: 

"No rejection, no guilt, no remorse." - Jerry

"You've never felt remorse." - Elaine

"I know.  I feel bad about that." - Jerry

Grade: B+ (The funniest part to me is when Jerry and George exhibit the same reaction to Spock dying in The Wrath of Khan as they did to Susan dying)

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

This song was played in my honor the other day and my brother mentioned that one of his favorite groups had done a cover of the song.  While I like the group, I didn't care for their version of the song.  I just felt like the way they did it that they had lost all of the meaning, and if you lose the meaning of this song, it's just not the same.  I tried to explain this to my brother, but I don't think he understood.  So, I'll explain it here.

Bono (Paul Hewson) is from Dublin, Ireland and Bloody Sunday is an incident that took place back in the 70s where 14 unarmed protesters were killed in the streets of Ireland.  It was part of an ongoing battle in Ireland between two separate groups...not unlike what is going on in the Middle East right now.  U2 wrote the song, not to commemorate that day, but to encourage people to stop the violence.

He talks in the song about how the people of Ireland are basically forced to choose sides.

But I won't heed the battle call

It puts my back up

Puts my back up against a wall

And the battle's just begun

There's many lost, but tell me who has won

The trenches dug within our hearts

And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart.

The initial killings happened in 1972 and during a march in Ireland on November 8, 1987 called the Remembrance Day Parade there was a bombing that killed 11 people.  At a concert in Denver that same night, Bono went on a mid-song rant about the incident.  This is what he had to say:

And let me tell you somethin'.  I've had enough of Irish Americans who haven't been back to their country in twenty or thirty years come up to be and talk about the resistance, the revolution back home...and the glory of the revolution...and the glory of dying for the revolution.  F*** the revolution!!  They don't talk about the glory of killing for the revolution.  What's the glory in taking a man from his bed and gunning him down in front of his wife and children?  Where's the glory in that?  Where's the glory in bombing a Remembrance Day parade of old age pensioners, their medals taken out and polished up for the day.  Where's the glory in that?  To leave them dying or crippled for life or dead under the rubble of the revolution, that the majority of the people in my country don't want.  No more!  No more!  No more!"

The Invitations (Ep. 724)

George and Susan go to buy invitations since the wedding is a little over a month away.  George wanting to be cheap picks out the least expensive ones, much to Susan's distaste.  Jerry meets a girl who is just like him and immediately falls in love.  He can't get over how much he likes this girl and proposes to her.  Elaine is upset to find out that she is not going to be in the wedding.  Kramer also is not in the wedding anymore since he called Susan "Lily."

Kramer challenges a bank on their promise of a $100 to every customer if they aren't greeted with a "hello."  Kramer only gets a "hey", but manages to get $20 out of it.  Later, when Susan is doing the invitations, the glue from the envelopes is toxic and causes her to get sick and die.

Interesting fact: This is Larry David's final episode (with the exception of the Finale).

Interesting quote: "I can't be with someone like me.  I hate myself!" - Jerry

Grade: A+ (One of the best episodes in television history)

NCAA football playoffs (Week 4)

I made some pretty big changes to this week's bracket.  I didn't want to drop Penn St. that far because I felt like their loss to Iowa was a fluke loss, but they really don't have anything to prove that they are better than the 5 teams in front of them.  I also bit the bullet and included UNC in this weeks bracket.  I really feel like they have proven themselves (I think I'm going to be sick to my stomach).  Also, while I believe Alabama is capable of beating Florida, I don't want to jinx it.

The Wait Out (Ep. 723)

An off-handed comment by George causes Beth and David to separate.  Jerry and Elaine have both been "waiting out" this relationship so they could date the two respectively.  They devise a scheme to work themselves in and it works like a charm.  Unfortunately, George doesn't want to be blamed for the downfall of their relationship, so he clears things up.  This causes them to get back together, much to Jerry and Elaine's dismay.

Kramer, to prove Jerry wrong, starts wearing jeans again.  Only problem is, he chooses Lee Dungarees and now the pants are so tight he can't get them off.  This causes a problem when he can't sit down during an acting audition with Mickey, and then again during an interogation.

Interesting quote: "I got the body of a taut, preteen Swedish boy." - Kramer

Grade: B+ (Kramer's slapstick humor while wearing the pants is awesome.)

The Bottle Deposit, Parts 1 & 2 (Ep. 721 & 722)

Kramer and Newman scheme on how to make money off of the .10 bottle deposit in Michigan.  They eventually figure out that it will work using a USPS truck that Newman is driving.  Elaine goes to a JFK auction for J. Peterman to buy JFK's golf clubs.  She gets in a bidding war with Sue Ellen Mischke and ends up paying $15,000 more than he wanted.  She puts the clubs in Jerry's car, but then it gets stolen by his mechanic (Brad Garrett) who is upset that he doesn't care good care of it.

George is asked to do something by Mr. Wilhelm, but doesn't hear him because Mr. Wilhelm is in the bathroom.  Since he had been recently criticized for not paying attention, he decides to pretend like he knows the assignment.  Later, he gets praised for doing the job, even though he didn't.  Come to find out, Wilhelm forgot to take his medication and just did it himself, but did an awful job.  It was so bad that Mr. Steinbrenner, thinking George did it, has George sent to the nut house.

Interesting quote: "It was the Peace Corps that gave me my start.  Clothing the naked natives of Bantubesh." - J. Peterman

Grade: A- (Usually the one hour episodes get a high grade in my book.  Lots of good stuff.)

The Calzone (Ep. 720)

George gets ropped into getting Steinbrenner a Calzone from a local restaurant after he gets a taste of his calzone. This is ruined when the cashier at the restaurant thinks George is stealing from the tip jar. Jerry is using his girlfriend's power to get him out of bad situations. Elaine has unknowingly started dating a coworker who tricked her into going out with him. Kramer is using the oven to warm his clothes so he can get the fresh out of the dryer feel without having to use a quarter.

Interesting quote:
"You don't work in the rain? You're a mailman. 'Neither rain nor sleet nor...' It's the first one." - George
"I was never that big on creeds." - Newman

Grade: B

The Wig Master (Ep. 719)

Jerry uses Elaine to prove to a sales clerk that he really is interested in a jacket (even though he's not) and the clerk asks Elaine out on a date.  He promises Elaine a great deal on dress and Elaine eventually finds out that he's just leading her on.  George finds out that the owner of the car lot where he keeps his car is letting prostitutes turn tricks in the cars.  

He also has a friend of Susan's staying with them who is a Wig Master for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  Kramer meets the costume designer and talks them into letting him borrow the coat and wear it around for the day, and then with him using a cane from the J. Peterman cataloge, he looks like a pimp.  So much so that he gets arrested when he finds one of the prostitutes in his car at the car lot and is spotted by the police with the girl.

Grade: B+

A moment in history

The United States of America has just elected their first African American president.  Regardless of what you believe, you have to admit that this is an amazing moment in history.  Most people I know didn't vote for him, but they still agree that is something they'll remember for a long time.  This is a huge step.  Does it mean that the United States no longer has issues with race?  Not a chance, but it's a step in the right direction.

Some might say that he got elected only because of the dislike for President Bush and the Republican party right now.  Some might say he only got elected because he was black.  I disagree on both parts, because John Kerry tried 4 years ago to unseat President Bush and failed, and Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and Alan Keyes have all made attempts and failed.  He won because he ran a legitimate race.

If you didn't vote for Barack Obama, then please still support him as your President.  Pray for him.  Hope that he'll work with people that you agree with and do his best as the 44th President of the United States.  It's not an easy job, as many have proven before and he needs the support of everyone...not just Democrats.

The Friars Club (Ep. 718)

Jerry gets a date with Susan's friend and they go to the Friars Club, which Jerry is trying to get into.  They require a jacket and since Jerry doesn't have one, they loan him one with the Friars Club emblem on it.  Forgetting he had it on, he walks out with it, but then it later gets lost at a magic act and he's now in trouble with the Friars Club.

Kramer tries Da Vinci's method of 20 minutes of sleep every 3 hours, but it is backfiring on his love life.  His girlfriend who works for the mob thinks he is dead and has him bagged and thrown into the river.  Elaine has issues with a guy at work who she thinks is faking a hearing impairment to get out of work.  It later turns out that he was telling the truth.

Interesting quote:

"I got a lot in the hopper." - Kramer

"Didn't know you had one." - Jerry

"Oh, I got a hopper.  A big hopper." - Kramer

Grade: B-

Duke basketball

So, Kimberly and I made it out for our first Duke game of the year last night.  It was just an exhibition game against Division II Lenoir-Rhyne, but it was still good.  It was nice to get a view of the new freshmen Miles Plumlee and Elliot Williams and to see how else we've improved since last season.  I'm excited for this upcoming season.  It was very disappointing not to see Johnny Dawkins on the sideline last night though, but I wish him well at Stanford this year.  Lastly, here are a couple of photos we got last night.  Enjoy.

The famous Cameron Crazies...man I wish I was back in that section instead of sitting in the stands.

Freshman Elliot Williams throwing down a dunk.  Picture courtesy of my beautiful wife Kimberly.

The Doll (Ep. 717)

Jerry, while performing in Memphis bumps into Sally, Susan's college roommate.  She gives him a wedding present for George and Susan which he has to hold on the plane so it doesn't get messed up.  In doing so, he breaks a bottle of barbeque sauce in his bag that he was going to use for his act on another show.  Later she comes to NY herself and Jerry asks her to pick up a bottle of this same barbeque sauce for him, but she gets the wrong kind.

George is freaked out by a doll that Susan owns that looks exactly like his mother.  Frank turns George's old bedroom into a billiard room.  Elaine gets an autograph from one of the three tenors to replace the one she ruined of the Maestros, but then ruins that one also.  Jerry in a last desperation for something for his routine, asks for the doll that looks just like George's mom, but Sally doesn't think that's funny so she brings him a different doll.

Interesting quote: "Jerry, come on.  If my mother keeps shrinking, this is exactly what she is going to look like in ten years." - George on Susan's doll looking exactly like his mom

Grade: B-

The Shower Head (Ep. 716)

Jerry's parents are staying at Leo's in New York for awhile until moving into Del Boca Vista in Florida and he's miserable in the meantime.  To get them to leave, he gets Leo to break up with his girlfriend so he has to move back into his place and force the Seinfelds out.  This works, but then the Costanzas decide to move there and this causes the Seinfelds to decide to stay.

Jerry and Kramer are disappointed with the low flow showerheads being installed in their building and get black market showerheads to replace them.  Elaine keeps failing a drug test for her trip to Africa with Peterman, but then discovers it is because of poppy seed muffins she's been eating.  In the end, the Costanzas decide to stay and the Seinfelds leave when low flow showerheads are installed in Leo's apartment.

Interesting quote: "If you could perhaps conduct the psychopath convention down the hall." - Jerry to his parents and the Costanzas

Grade: B (Kramer using the showerhead meant for Elephants at the end)

The Cadillac, Parts 1 & 2 (Ep. 714 & 715)

Jerry gets a very large payment from a gig he did and decides to buy his dad a Cadillac with the money.  He picks it up and delivers it in person to impress his dad, which it does, but his mom wants to give it back because they don't need it.  Jack Klompus and the others in the community begin to think that Morty is stealing funds to pay for the car and have a vote to impeach him as President of the community.  The one woman who is going to vote in favor of Morty is the same woman that Jerry stole the marble rye from and once she remembers that it was him, she switches her vote and Morty is impeached.

Kramer is hiding from the cable guy to keep from getting an illegal service disconnected in his apartment.  George begins to reconsider his engagement to Susan when he finds out that one of Elaine's friends knows Marisa Tomei and thinks she would like George.  He goes so far as to set up a meeting between him and Marisa.  This causes Susan to think that George is having an affair with Elaine.  He has the meeting and all goes well until he tell Marisa that he's engaged.

Interesting quote: "You know, you could put a fence around these condos and call it an insane asylum.  Nobody would know the difference!"

Grade: A- (Not one of my favorites originally, but it gets better everytime I watch it)

The Seven (Ep. 713)

George tells Susan that he wants to name their first kid Seven in honor of the great Mickey Mantle. She thinks its ridiculous and tells her cousin who is about to have a kid. They like the idea and decide to take it, instead of George's suggestion of Soda. Jerry and Elaine go to an antique store where Elaine sees an old school girls bike that she wants, but she hurts her neck trying to pull it off the shelf.

She haphazzardly says that she'll give the bike to anyone who makes her neck feel better. Kramer does and then wants the bike, but she doesn't want to give it up. They take the dispute to Newman who in a Soloman-like decision says he is going to saw the bike in half. After Elaine agrees, he gives it to Kramer instead. Kramer devises a system to keep track of what he takes from Jerry's refrigerator.

Interesting quote: "I miss the days when they made toys that could kill a kid." - Jerry

Grade: B+ (Kramer riding the girls bike with tassels is awesome!)

NCAA football playoffs (Week 3)

Georgia disappointed so they are out, probably for good. Utah squeaked out a victory over New Mexico. Tulsa lost to Arkansas (is that Arkansas' first Div. 1-A win this year?). Texas lost, but I still think is very, very good. Texas Tech impressed with their defense.

On a side note, I wish I could put Appalachian St. into this bracket (technically I can since it's my bracket), because they really impressed this weekend. They beat conference rival Wofford 70-24. The quarterback Armanti Edwards was 17-19 with 364 yards passing! Not bad. But on the positive side, Appalachian State gets to play in a playoff. Actually it's only good for the other Division 1-AA teams because if this were like 1-A they would have already crowned App St. the champions for the 4th year in a row.