The Clip Show (Ep. 921 & 922) & The Finale (Ep. 923 & 924)

The Clip show is exactly what it sounds like, an hour long show before the finale that showed clips of the previous 9 seasons. Obviously there is nothing to write about it, or an interesting quote to give to it. So, I'll just write about The Finale.

Jerry and George are given another shot at The Jerry Show and this time NBC is treating them right. They give them a private jet and tell Jerry that he can take it anywhere before coming out to LA to shoot the pilot for the show. He decides to take the whole gang to Paris and they all agree. On the plane, Kramer starts jumping up and down to get water from the beach out of his ear and ends up messing something up on the plane. They have to stop in Latham, Massachusetts and while the plane is getting fixed, the gang goes into town. While there they witness a carjacking of an overweight man and instead of helping, they make funny comments while Kramer videotapes.

They get arrested on a new law called the Good Samaritan Law and trying to get publicity and make an example out of them, the town of Latham pulls out all the stops. They call in people from the past 9 seasons to show that this was not an isolated event. The evidence piles up against the four of them and eventually the judge sentences them to one year in prison. While the show is ending with them in prison, they finish with Jerry and George having the same conversation that started the show ("The second button is the key button. It literally makes or breaks the shirt.")

Interesting quote: "I don't know how, or under what circumstances, the four of you found each other, but your callous indifference and utter disregard for everything that is good and decent has rocked the very foundation upon which our society is built." - Judge Art Vandalay

Grade: B+ (Lots of people didn't like this episode, but I still enjoy it. They just didn't like it because they weren't getting anymore new Seinfeld.)

Well....it's been fun.

Reasonable Risk

Some people have questioned mine and Kimberly's choice to go overseas right now.  Their argument is that it's not safe in the world and something might happen to us.  Rest assured that the Peace Corp would not send us anywhere that they didn't feel was safe for us to go.  We are not going into combat so therefore they are not sending us into warzone type environments.  The goal of the Peace Corp is to provide assistance in any way possible to developing nations, and we wouldn't be able to provide assistance if the foreign country was not stable enough.

Now none of this is to say that conditions will be great, but that's the point.  Peace Corp volunteers are expected to live at the level of most of the native people in their area.  This is done so that the volunteer completely integrates themself into the society.  It may be hard, but it is by no means unsafe.  This is something that Kim and I have been looking for, for quite some time.  We wanted an experience very unlike our life here in America, something to challenge us, and make us think outside our relatively cushy life here at home.

The Peace Corp is a risk, but as I stated in the title of this post, it's a Reasonable Risk.

The Puerto Rican Day Parade (Ep. 920)

The gang is coming back from a baseball game at Shea Stadium and run into a road block because of the Puerto Rican Day Parade.  They are stuck and all set out to do various things.  George wants to go see a movie so he can use a funny line he's thought of, but this gets ruined by a guy with a laser pointer.  Jerry wants to see the end of the baseball game since the Mets are making a comeback.  Kramer is just enjoying the festivities and Elaine is trying to find a quick way home so she can unwind for the day.

Interesting fact: This episode never made it into reruns because of the outrage by the Puerto Ricans because in the episode Kramer catches the Puerto Rican flag on fire and starts stepping on it to put the fire out.

Interesting quote:

"Blimp: The Hindenburg Story" - George

"How was it?" - Jerry

"I found it morose.  Why dwell on all those negative subjects?" - George

"Yeah.  They should make a movie about all the Hindenburg flights that did make it." - Jerry

Grade: B

The Maid (Ep. 919)

Jerry starts dating his maid and begins blurring the lines between dating and prostitution.  George is tired of his name and wants to be called T-Bone, but someone else at work takes it.  Later the coworkers start calling him Koko the monkey.  Kramer gets upset because his girlfriend moves downtown and out of the area code.  Elaine, upset that Kramer keeps sending faxes to her phone, changes her number, but gets the new area code also.

Interesting quote:

"Are you sure you don't have one [fax machine], because there's a lot of stuff in my apartment I've never seen." - Kramer

"Then maybe you have a fax machine." - Elaine

"You just blew my mind." - Kramer

Grade: B+

The Frogger (Ep. 918)

George wants to save a Frogger arcade game that he holds the high score on, but this involves a complicated move across a busy street.  Jerry dates a girl who finishes his sentences and he can't stand it.  Elaine accidently eats a cake in Peterman's refrigerator that he had bought at an auction...it was from King Edward VII in 1937.  Kramer gets crime scene tape from the police station, and also hears of a serial killer who's on the loose in the neighborhood.

Interesting quote: "She's a sentence finisher, it's like dating a Mad Libs." - Jerry

Grade: B-

*Just for the fun of it I found this free game of Frogger online in case you wanted to go back to your childhood when games just need a single joystick and an on/off button.

The Bookstore (Ep. 917)

George takes a book from the bookstore into the bathroom and is forced to buy it for $100.  He tries to return it at various locations, but it's been red flagged everywhere.  Jerry catches Leo stealing from the same bookstore and decides to teach him a lesson, not knowing that he has "priors" on his record.  Elaine gets wasted at the annual J. Peterman party and makes out with a coworker.  Kramer and Newman set out to start a rickshaw taxi business in New York City, but have troubles when a homeless man steals their rickshaw.

Interesting quote: 

"You went home with him?" - George

"Worse, we made out at the table like our plane was going down." - Elaine

Grade: B+ (very solidly funny episode)

*Also wanted to thank my friend Jace for my Grogger (Grammy for a Blogger)...I didn't even know I was nominated.

Showing the love of Christ

If you don't at least tear up at this, then it's possible you have no heart.  I was on the verge of tears while reading it and I'm here at work.  Truly an amazing thing when someone does what is right, even when it seems opposite of what we're expected to do.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373

Just some thoughts...

• We still haven't received our invitation, but at least now we know what the hold up was and it's being taken care of...slowly.
• Just watched a movie called Winter Passing (it was just okay) and Will Ferrell played a musician in a former Christian rock band called Punching Pilate...just thought that was funny.
• Also watched Run, Fat Boy, Run and thought it was pretty funny.
• I did finally finish reading Le Miserables and I've never been more proud of myself for it.  It was definitely a worthwhile 1200-page book to read.
• Almost finished with Seinfeld, just 7 more episodes to go after a big weekend.
• We are packing up and getting rid of things right now and it looks like someone has robbed us of all of our possessions.  Just a recliner and TV in the living room, the microwave is sitting on the dryer, and we are using plastic ware utensils.
• Doing a series at church called Messy Little Christmas and it's really good.  Dave gave a very vivid description of the Roman soldiers killing the children in Matthew 2:16.  Bethlehem was just a small tight-knit village of 300 or so people.  Can you imagine what that must have been like?
• But through it all, we know God is in control; "Be still and know that I am God..." - Psalms 46:10a

The Burning (Ep. 916)

Elaine finds out that Puddy is religious and is upset because she thought he was more one-dimensional.  Jerry’s girlfriend has a secret having to do with a tractor that she hasn’t told him.  George tries to leave work meetings on a high note and ends up impressing his boss so much he gets all the work.  Kramer and Mickey perform diseases for Medical students and Kramer does so well with Gonorrhea he gets typecast.

Interesting quotes:

"So, is it a problem that I'm not religious?" - Elaine

"Not for me." - Puddy

"Why not?" - Elaine

"Well, I'm not the one going to hell." - Puddy

Grade: A- (One of my favorites of all-time)

The Wizard (Ep. 915)

Jerry gets his father a wizard organizer, but he just uses it as a tip calculator.  Elaine tries to figure out if her boyfriend is black or not.  Kramer’s coffee table book is optioned for a movie so he decides to retire to the Seinfeld’s condo.  Morty convinces him to run for Condo President, but it doesn’t go as well as planned when Kramer inadvertantly breaks a condo rule.  George lies by telling the Rosses that he bought a home in the Hamptons to avoid going to a function for the Susan Ross Foundation.

Interesting quote: "Kramer you can't live down here, this is where people come to die." - Jerry

Grade: B-

The Strongbox (Ep. 914)

Kramer gets a strongbox to protect his “valuables” and tries to find a place to hide the key.  He ends up hiding the key in the food dish of a neighbor’s parrot.  Jerry upsets the same neighbor because he doesn’t let him in when he forgot his key.  Elaine dates a homeless man and at first is okay with him being homeless, but then finds out he’s married too.  George’s girlfriend refuses to break up with him, so he starts dating another girl from work to try to make his current girlfriend mad, but it doesn't work.

Interesting quote: "Man's best friend...Jerry I want something like that on my tombstone." - Kramer

Grade: B

The Cartoon (Ep. 913)

Elaine draws a cartoon for The New Yorker, but is accused of ripping off the old Ziggy cartoons.  George dates a woman who looks eeriely like Jerry and everyone knows it.  Kramer because of problems of talking too much decides to take a vow of silence.  Jerry upsets Sally Weaver, Susan’s old college roommate, and she turns it into a one-woman Jerry hating show.

Interesting quote: "It's so great to see a show that's about something." - Newman

Grade: C

The Reverse Peephole (Ep. 912)

Elaine is shocked when she finds out that Puddy wears a “man-fur” and so at Joe Mayo’s party she tosses it out the window.  Kramer and Newman want to reverse the peepholes on their doors, but the landlord doesn’t like Newman so he threatens to throw him out.  George gets a massage chair for a friend delivered to his house, but likes it so much that he decides to keep it.  Jerry dumps his wallet for a European carry-all and gets it stolen from him on the street.

Interesting quote:

"And of course you find fur morally reprehensible." - Jerry

"Eh, anti-fur.  I mean who has the energy anymore.  This is more about hanging off the arm of an idiot." - Elaine

Grade: B+

Tyler Hansbrough

Last night Tyler Hansbrough became the all-time leading scorer in UNC basketball history.  Is he the greatest basketball player in UNC history?  People seem to think so, but I think they are too quick to judge.  Apparently they've forgotten about James Worthy, Sam Perkins, Phil Ford, and some guy named Michael.  I mean just because he's won awards and he's the teams leading scorer doesn't mean a whole lot...what's he done for the team?

JJ Reddick is the all-time leading scorer at Duke and in the ACC, but I wouldn't put him in the top 5 of greatest players at Duke and probably not the top 25 of greatest ACC players.  On that note, Hansbrough probably will break the ACC record this year.  Right now, JJ is 467 points ahead and Hansbrough has the chance to play 29 more games this year (20 regular season, 3 ACC Tourney, and 6 NCAA tourney).  That would mean he would only have to average about 16 points a game (heck the refs will give him 16 trips to the foul line a game!).

But I did want to say congrats to Tyler...he is a good player, and he does play hard, but I still can't stand to watch him play...and that's coming from a fan of basketball, not a Duke fan.

The Dealership (Ep. 911)

Jerry goes to the car dealership to get a new car since Puddy is getting him a good deal.  Elaine gets pretty annoyed with Puddy's constant high-fiving and decides to break up with him, but this means Jerry loses his deal.  George has a run-in with a mechanic who he believes stole a Twix bar from him.  Kramer takes a car for a test drive and ends up turning it into a joy ride with the salesman to see how far they can go without filling up.

Interesting quote: "My father had a car salesman buddy.  He was going to fix him up real nice.  Next thing I know I'm getting dropped off in a Le Car with a fabric sunroof.  All the kids are shouting at me, "Hey, Le George!  Bon jour, Le George!  Let's stuff Le George in Le Locker!" - George

Grade: C- (Kind of an annoying episode, but the line George delivered is one of my favorites)

The Price is EXACTLY Right!!

Imagine you're on The Price is Right and you are the first contestant on the Showcase.  You guess some crazy number that you're not quite sure about, but you stick with it anyway.  Then you find out that you're only $494 off the total...insane right?  Well, what would you do if the second contestant nailed his total down to the dollar?!?  That's exactly what happened on The Price is Right the other day for the first time since 1972.  The guy guessed $23,743...a nice round number, and was dead on!  Here's the clip...that's just ridiculous!

Man Guesses EXACT Price in Showcase Showdown! @ Yahoo! Video

The Strike (Ep. 910)

H&H Bagels calls to tell Kramer that the strike is off and he goes back to work.  Him and other employees have been on strike for 12 years to bring wages up to $5.35, but now that the minimum wage is up, the strike is off.  Elaine gives a fake number to a guy at a party and it causes all kinds of problems.  Jerry dates a girl who looks different in different light.

George gives Christmas gifts of donations to a fake organization to his coworkers and Mr. Kruger finds out.  Frank, at Kramer's insistance, starts celebrating Festivus again.  Festivus is a holiday created out of the frustration of the commercial and religious problems of Christmas.

Interesting quote: "A Festivus for the rest of us!" - Frank Costanza

Grade: A- (Such a great episode, one that so perfectly depicts the eccetricities of the Costanza family)

The Apology (Ep. 909)

Jerry discovers his girlfriend likes to walk around the apartment naked and he loves it.  That is, until she shows him bad naked...straining to open a jar of pickles.  Jason Stanky is going through AA and gets to step 9, making amends, but George is upset when he doesn't get his apology.  Elaine has issues with a coworker (again!) who is a germaphobe and especially doesn't want Elaine's germs, because of her promiscuity.

Kramer begins spending all of his time in the shower and even starts preparing meals in there after he installs an industrial powered garbage disposal.  Puddy reveals that he's a recovering germaphobe and goes back after finding out the meal he's eating was fixed by Kramer in his shower.

Interesting quote: 

"Hey, how do you make those radish roses?" - Kramer

"Insert a knife into the center and twist.  Then to make it bloom, soak it in water 30-40 minutes." - Jerry

"No problem there." - Kramer, while in his shower

Grade: C (Not one of my favorites, but Kramer making the food in his shower was one good part)

The Betrayal (Ep. 908)

This episode goes in reverse the entire time, from Elaine, Jerry, and George returning from a trip to India all the way to Jerry first moving into the apartment.  Elaine receives a belated invitation to Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding in India and decides to go just out of spite.  Many crazy things happen in the process including Elaine finding out she used to date the groom, George refusing to go to the bathroom the entire trip, and George finding out that his girlfriend and Jerry slept together.  Kramer tries to figure out why FDR (Franklin Delano Romanowski) wishes he would drop dead.

Interesting quote: 

"So, Elaine are you going to sleep with me or what?" - George

"George, I just got off a 23-hour plane ride.  I'm too tired to even vomit at the thought." - Elaine

Grade: A (One of my all-time favorites)

Home is...

where Google is.

View Larger Map

Just showing off Google maps newest streetview footage and giving a shoutout my family in Georgia.

The Slicer (Ep. 907)

George gets a new job with Kruger Industrial Smoothing because the boss is clueless.  While he's there he spots a photo on Kruger's desk with him (George) in it.  Upon Kramer's insistence he steals it to get his picture removed, but it doesn't work.  Jerry is dating a dermatologist who talks about saving lives and he calls her on this, but looks foolish when she tells him she deals with skin cancer.

Elaine's neighbor left her alarm on when she left town, so her and Kramer short circuit the apartment.  This is good until she finds out they had a cat and they cut off it's feeder.  Kramer buys an industrial meat slicer, which Elaine borrows to slide meat under her neighbors door to the cat.

Interesting quote: "You call yourself life saver, I call you Pimple-Popper, MD." - Jerry

Grade: B

The Merv Griffin Show (Ep. 906)

Kramer finds the old Merv Griffin Show set in a dumpster and hauls it home and sets it up in his apartment.  Pretty soon he's hosting his own talk show.  George hits a squirrel with his car and his girlfriend makes him stop and take it to the vet.  Pretty soon he's taking care of the squirrel at his house.  Jerry's girlfriend has an amazing collection of toys and he wants to play with them, but she doesn't want anyone to touch them.  Elaine has issues (again) with a coworker who sidles up on people.

Interesting quote: "Wait a minute.  So you're saying you drugged a woman so you could take advantage of her toys?" - Kramer, about Jerry getting his girlfriend drunk to play with her toys

Grade: B+ (for Jerry and Kramer) C- (for Elaine and George)

Items we'll need...

Recently, some family, friends, and friends that are like family have been asking what Kimberly and I are going to need for our trip and if they can help. The good news is we won't be taking that much so there's not really much to get, plus we've already gotten most of what we need, but there are still a few items left.

The difficult thing is people like to actually get items for you instead of just giving you money (it's sometimes a little impersonal), but the items that we need are such that it would be better for us to pick them out ourselves. So Kimberly and I have compiled a list of items we still need with estimated cost of the items. We feel this is the best way so that people can see what it is we need instead of just handing us money for unknown items.

Radio ($30-60)
Hiking pack ($100)
Pashmina ($10-20)
Pajamas ($30)
Pillows ($20 each)
Trail Shoes ($60-80)
Laptop bag ($30)
Watches ($20 each)
Space Saver bags ($20)
Duct Tape
Ziploc bags

We'd like to thank everyone who is willing to help and for those who can't for just their love and support, we understand that these are hard times.

The Junk Mail (Ep. 905)

Kramer is getting irritated with getting Pottery Barn catalogs in the mail and decides he's going to attack it at the "choke point"...he's going to stop the mail. After being told he can't stop the mail he starts protesting outside the post office. Jerry is getting a vehicle from childhood friend Frankie Merman after doing a spot for his dealership, but is surprised when it's a van. He keeps it because Frankie gets easily upset and he doesn't want to hurt his feelings.

George is upset because his parents seem to be avoiding him, so he dates his cousin to get their attention. This doesn't work and it only upsets him more. Elaine dumps Puddy (again) when she discovers that she's found Mr. Right. Turns out Mr. Right is actually an obnoxious TV advertiser for an electronics store.

Interesting quote: "I don't think I want to meet the people who are in the market for a used van." - Jerry

Grade: C+

The Blood (Ep. 904)

Kramer worried that something might happen where he loses a lot of blood begins to hoard his blood in a blood bank, but when they charge him more he moves it to Newman's meat freezer.  Jerry's parents worry that he's getting out of shape and so they hire Izzy Mandelbaum to get him back into shape.  After an accident with an exacto knife, Jerry gets a transfusion of Kramer's blood.

George decides to combine his love for food and television with sex.  His current girlfriend is not too keen on the idea and dumps him because of it.  Elaine is upset to find out that her friend, Vivian, doesn't want her to babysit her son, so she babysits him anyway and ends up becoming the Godmother essentially.  When Elaine brings George over to the house, he finds that Vivian is a "lover" of food, television, and sex as well; and Elaine's problem is solved.

Interesting quote: "I find pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted and cured meats.  Hungry?" - Vivian

Grade: B+ (Above average episode)

True Christmas Spirit

I was commenting to Kim last night about how A Charlie Brown Christmas and Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas are probably my two favorite Christmas movies of all time.  They are classics obviously (one from 1965 and the other from 1966), but more to the point they both represent what Christmas is truly about.

A Charlie Brown Christmas represents from a Christian standpoint of what Christmas is all about.  It's not about presents and a really nice Christmas tree and fancy decorations, but about God sending his only son as a sacrifice for us.  Sometimes we Christians accept too quickly what the World says Christmas is about and we get too caught up doing the wrong things.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas comes mainly from a secular standpoint, but the lesson is no less important.  The Grinch takes the presents and decorations and delicious food from the residents of Whoville because he thinks this is what Christmas is all about.  In the end they show him that's it's much more than that.  It's about loving one another and taking time out of your busy schedule to spend time with the ones who mean the most to you.

So this Christmas don't get so wrapped up (no pun intended) in buying presents for family that you forget to tell them that you love them.  And don't get so involved in doing routine Christmas things that you forget to thank God for the miracle that he sent to us.

Alabama football

I know the season isn't technically over and the game January 2nd against Utah does still count, but I wanted to go ahead and thank Alabama for a fantastic season of football.  Easily the best Alabama team I've seen since their championship team of '92, and possibly better.  You gave it your best shot against an amazing Florida team, but you came up short.  That's okay...just don't do it again next year.

On a side note, I would like to admonish the play of one particular player for Alabama and that's Javier Arenas.  I'll be the first to say that he's an amazingly talented player, but sometimes he just tries too hard to make a great play and it backfires.  A really smart player knows when to take a risk and when to play it safe.  He too often takes too many risks; such as catching a kickoff on the 4 yard line while tip-toeing the out of bounds line, or catching a punt on the 4 yard line with a defender bearing down on top of you.  Let's just hope that he matures a little between now and his senior year.

The Serenity Now (Ep. 903)

Frank is selling computers out of his garage and he's using George and Lloyd Braun to do it.  He's also using a special method called Serenity Now to calm his rage.  Jerry gets upset when his girlfriend insists he doesn't show his emotion enough.  Kramer fights the neighborhood kids while trying to experience Anytown, USA in front of his apartment.

Elaine is kissed by Mr. Lippman's son at his bar-mitzvah and now she's having to fight him, Mr. Lippman, the Priest, and Jerry who all want to marry her.  She finds out it's because she's got Schiksa, which seems to be a female version of Kavorka.

Interesting quote: "I'm open, there's just nothing in there." - Jerry

Grade: B (Pretty funny episode, but nothing really memorable)

The Voice (Ep. 902)

Jerry is fascinated by his girlfriend's bellybutton, so much so that he's given it a silly jovial voice.  This is great until he tells her and she tells him to drop the voice or she'll leave...he chooses the voice.  George is told by PlayNow that he's not welcome at the job anymore, but he decides that he's not leaving unless they fire him.

Jerry makes a bet that Elaine will continue to go back to Puddy and he continues to be right.  Kramer is tired of all his ideas going to waste so he gets an intern from NYU to do all of his work so that he can concentrate on his ideas...mainly a rubber bladder to hold oil in.  They test this at PlayNow by dropping it out of PlayNow's window, but it lands on Jerry's girlfriend.

Interesting quote: "Breaking up is like knocking over a coke machine.  You can't do it in one push, you have to rock it back and forth a few times.  Then it goes over." - Jerry

Grade: B+

The Butter Shave (Ep. 901)

George gets a job with a playground company called PlayNow, but they think he is handicapped thanks to a cane he carries to help him walk.  Jerry is upset because Bania is killing by following after him, eating up his laughs.  Later, for a big set he decides to throw the show to ruin Bania, but it backfires.  Kramer starts shaving with butter and likes the feel so much that he rubs it all over himself.  This is strange but okay until he bakes while laying out in the sun.

Elaine has taken a month long trip to Europe with Puddy and is ready to kill him so they break up in the cab on the way to the airport.  On the airplane, however, they get back together, but it doesn't last long and they break up again before the flight ends.  PlayNow eventually finds out that George isn't handicapped when they see him carrying a Rascal that they gave him.

Interesting quote: "Boy, a month in Europe with Elaine.  That guy's coming home in a body bag." - Kramer

Grade: A- (The scenes with Elaine and Puddy had me in tears)

The Summer of George (Ep. 822)

George realizes that he received three months pay as a severance from the Yankees and is determined to live up the summer.  Jerry starts dating a girl who has a male friend that she is very close with and it starts to make him suspicious.  He also later uses George to help him keep up with his duties as boyfriend.

Elaine once again has issues with a coworker, this time because the coworker won't swing her arms when she walks.  Kramer goes to the Tony's as a seat filler and manages to make it up on stage and collect an award.  The producers of the show tell him he can keep his award if he fires Racquel Welch.  This proves to be more difficult than he thought.

Interesting quote:

"What is so appealing to men about a catfight?" - Elaine

"Because men think that if women are grabbing and clawing at each other, there's a chance they might somehow kiss." - Jerry

Grade: B-

The Muffin Tops (Ep. 821)

George promises to watch a guys bag on the street, but when he doesn't return, George leaves and takes his bag.  He starts wearing the clothes and apparently looks touristy...so much so that a woman from the Visitors Bureau starts showing him around town.  Jerry accidently shaves his chest and now it's growing back thicker than ever.

Elaine goes into business with Mr. Lippman on a Muffin Top store, but then they have issues on what to do with the stumps.  In the end, Newman comes in to clean up their mess.  Kramer finds out that J. Peterman really did use his stories and now decides to create a Real Peterman Reality Tour, showing people all the famous spots where the real J. Peterman (Kramer) lived.

Interesting fact: The guy who Kramer was based on, Kenny Kramer, did his own Kramer reality tour...after which this story was modeled.

Interesting quote: "The last thing this guy's qualified to give a tour of is reality." - Jerry about Kramer's reality tour

Grade: C- (The muffin top story is really bad)

After this episode there are technically 25 episodes remaining, but considering 2 of those are a one hour clips show, it's really only 23.  I gotta pick up the pace.

The Millenium (Ep. 820)

Kramer and Newman are fighting over the plans of a New Years Eve party for 1999 (two years in advance).  Elaine has issues with a worker at Putomayo, a Mayan clothing store, and wants to put them out of business.  George gets offered a job as the head of scouting for the New York Mets, but since he still works for the Yankees they can't officially offer him the job, so he has to get fired.  He thinks this will be easy, but nothing seems to work.  Jerry keeps moving up and down his girlfriends speed dial and can't figure out why.

Interesting quote:

"I never thought I'd fail at failing." - George

"Oh come on now." - Jerry

"I can't do anything wrong." - George

"Nonsense, you do everything wrong." - Jerry

"Everything?" - George

"Everything!" - Jerry

"You really think so?" - George

"Absolutely, I have no confidence in you!" - Jerry

"Alright, I guess I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and throw myself right back down again." - George

"That's the spirit! You suck!" - Jerry

Grade: B+ (George "streaking" defaming The Babe's jersey and the World Series trophy and still not get fired...hilarious!)

Out of focus

Quit your worship charades

I can't stand your trivial religious games:

Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings--

Meetings, meetings, meetings--I can't stand one more!

Meetings for this, meetings for that.  I hate them!

You've worn me out!

I'm sick of your religion, religion, religion,

while you go right on sinning.

When you put on your next prayer-performance,

I'll be looking the other way.

No matter how long or loud or often you pray,

I'll not be listening.

And do you know why?  Because you've been tearing

people to pieces, and your hands are bloody.

Go home and wash up.

Clean up your act.

Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings

so I don't have to look at them any longer.

Say no to wrong

Learn to do good.

Work for justice.

Help the down-and-out.

Stand up for the homeless.

Go to bat for the defenseless.

Isaiah 1:13-17 (The Message)

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These verses have been weighing pretty heavily on my mind lately.  We go to church and worship God, but all but ignore the people who are in need, which is one of the main things God asked us to do in the Bible.  Take care of those who can't take care of themselves.  It makes my worship feel fake to me and that's not cool...because if it's not authentic, then why am I doing it?  It's all a show!

Duke Football

Just wanted to write a special post thanking the Duke football team for a good season.  Easily the best season in a decade or so.  I know it was just 4 wins, but considering they only had 4 wins the previous 4 seasons, it's big improvement.  They only looked really bad in 2 games (Georgia Tech and Clemson) and should have won the Wake Forest game.  I only wish I could be here the next two years to see the continued improvement that I know David Cutcliff is going to bring to the program and fan base.  Thanks again!

The Yada Yada (Ep. 819)

George's girlfriend likes to use the phrase "yada yada" to sum up a conversation.  At first he likes this, but then she "yada yadas" over important things.  Kramer and Mickey can't decide which girl to pick on a double date, and Mickey ends up marrying the wrong woman.  Jerry is upset with Tim Whatley because he believes he converted to Judiasm just for the jokes.  Elaine ruins Beth and Arnie's chance at getting an adoption and in the process breaks them up.

Interesting quote:

"I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada, I never heard from him again." - Elaine

"But you "yada yadad" the best part." - George

"No I mentioned the bisque." - Elaine

Grade: B

The Nap (Ep. 818)

Jerry has a guy installing his new cabinets that needs help on every decision.  Kramer is fed up with trying to swim at the Health Club so he starts swimming in the East River, but he is bringing the polluted smell home with him.  

Elaine is dating a guy who is obsessed with back health and he buys her a matress.  At first she is upset because she thinks he's implying he wants to sleep with her so she gives it to Kramer, but then later wants it back.  When her boyfriend smells the East River on the matress he thinks Kramer is sleeping with Elaine.  George gets Jerry's guy to build him a place to sleep under his desk so he can take a nap at work, but it backfires when Steinbrenner camps out in the office to wait for George.

Interesting quote: "I love a good nap.  Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning." - George

Grade: B-

The English Patient (Ep. 817)

Elaine is bothered when her boyfriend and apparently everyone else is absolutely in love with the movie The English Patient, which she hates.  Jerry goes to Florida to help his parents move into their new condo and incites an 80-year old man named Izzy Mandlebaum to injure himself trying to lift too much weights.

Kramer asks Jerry to pick up some Cubans (people from Cuba as it turns out) so that they can roll cigars for him.  Unfortunately, they turn out to be Dominicans instead and Kramer loses his business opportunity.  George is mistaken for a beautiful woman's boyfriend and instead of going after the woman, George has to know why she's attracted to her boyfriend.

Interesting quote:

"Son, this is the most wonderful and thoughtful thing you've ever done for me." Morty, talking about a #1 Dad shirt

"You know, I bought you a cadillac...twice." - Jerry

Grade: D (About as bad as The English Patient)

The Pothole (Ep. 816)

Jerry accidently knocks his girlfriend Jenna's toothbrush into the toilet and she uses it before he can tell her.  Now he won't kiss her and she doesn't know why because he won't tell her.  Kramer, upset at the filthiness of the highway, adopts a one mile stretch.  He gets a bright idea to widen the lanes, but this obviously ends up causing problems.

George drops his keys into a pothole and talks to someone with the city about getting them up, but since he won't pay them he has to do the work himself.  Elaine gets frustrated when a Chinese restaurant refuses to deliver to her apartment building, so she takes up residence in a janitor's closet across the street.

Interesting quote:

"So the plan is to secretly sterilize her mouth?" - George

"By the time I'm through with her mouth, she'll be able to eat off it." - Jerry

Grade: A (One of the best episodes about joining the plots together)

Readers

Just a quick note, I've noticed a few more readers of my blog lately and that makes me happy.  Also, I wanted to note that when Kim and I leave for the Peace Corp I will continue to use this blog to update everyone.  It's much easier than sending letters and email to everyone I know, but I'll probably do a little bit of that too.  I do hope to get Kim to write a few times in here, but she's not really big on the blogging thing.

The Susie (Ep. 815)

Elaine is mistakenly called Susie by Peggy, a coworker, and when Peggy makes insulting comments about Elaine, she decides not to correct her.  This eventually causes problems when Peterman starts giving assignments to Susie and then Peggy has a problem with Susie too.  Kramer makes a bet in Jerry's name because he has a gambling problem and Jerry wins.  Unfortunately, Mike (the bookie) can't pay up, and when Jerry accidently slams Mike's fingers in the trunk of his car he thinks Jerry is out to get him.

George wants to go to the Yankee Pinstripe ball with his girlfriend Allison, but once he realizes she's going to break up with him he avoids her to prevent it.  This works for awhile, until she gets Kramer to break it off with him.  Elaine later tells Peterman that Susie killed herself and he holds a big memorial service for him.  Mike, who's been trapped in Jerry's trunk, comes running in claiming that Jerry killed Susie.

Interesting quote:

"Wait 'til you see the dress that she's got.  It's backless.  I'm finally going to make a great entrance." - George

"Backless?  You going to back her in?" - Elaine

Grade: A- (Bizarre episode, but those are usually the best ones)

The Van Buren Boys (Ep. 814)

Jerry starts to wonder about Ellen, the girl he's dating, when everyone thinks she's a loser except him and his parents.  Kramer has a run-in with some Van Buren gang members and accidently throws up their secret hand sign leading them to believe he's a former member.  Peterman wants Elaine to write a book about his life, but his life is actually too boring, so he buys stories from Kramer's life.

George is left in charge of selecting a student for the foundation's scholarship and he chooses a kid just like him who is actually interested in architecture.  Things go wrong when he decides at the last minute to not pursue architecture and so George denies him the scholarship.  This leads the kid to join the Van Buren gang.

Interesting quote: "You know how it is, every group has its loser...like us with Elaine." - George

Grade: B (Funny moments, but not the entire show)

NCAA playoffs (Week 6)

As I predicted last week, some pretty big changes to the bracket for this week.  Although, I didn't expect Oklahoma to demolish Texas Tech like they did.  I know I have Oklahoma beating Texas Tech in my bracket too, but I really think they proved themselves.  Also, unlike the BCS, all three Big 12 teams will get into my bracket, deservedly so.  One last thing...I think the ACC is going to set the record for most different first place teams in one season (so far, I think we've had Florida St., Ga Tech, Va Tech, Maryland, Wake Forest).  Next week, Alabama looks to finish off their first perfect regular season since 1992.

The Money (Ep. 813)

Jerry's parents sell the Cadillac to Jack Klompus for $6,000 because they think Jerry needs the money, so he goes through a long and tiring process of buying it back from Jack.  George finds out that his parents have a good deal of money and they decide to blow it all before they die instead of leave it to him.  Kramer can't sleep next to his new girlfriend because she has the "jimmy" legs.  Elaine loses her Presidential pay and stock options when Peterman returns from Burma out of the blue.

Interesting quote: "Yeah.  I gotta be honest with you Kramer.  You might be more than just a couple of tweaks away from a healthy relationship." - Elaine

Grade: C+

Limbs & Branches

The other day I got Limbs & Branches, the new cd from Jon Foreman (lead singer of Switchfoot), and it's amazing.  If you like the songwriting of Switchfoot, but want something different in the way of music, this is for you.  He's mostly acoustic and the lyrics are much, much deeper than Switchfoot.  He actually has 4 EPs out called; Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall, but this is sort of a compilation of the four.  I highly recommend this cd.

The Comeback (Ep. 812)

A coworker tells George to slow down on the shrimp he's eating because "the ocean called and they're running out of shrimp" and George can't think of a good line until later.  He's determined to use the line, even after finding out that the guy left the company.  Elaine upsets a video store worker after she watches another worker's movie picks.

After watching a movie about a coma victim, Kramer decides that he wants the plug pulled if he ever goes into a coma.  He is then shocked to find out that people come out of comas.  Jerry finds out that the manager of a tennis pro shop is terrible at tennis and agrees to throw a game of tennis against him to make him look good in front of his wife.

Interesting quote: "Oh yeah, well the Jerk Store called and they're running out of you!" - George

Grade: B- (Except for George's comeback line scene, this is not very good).

Let it snow!

This morning we got our second snow of the season, last Tuesday was the first.  I think (and I could be wrong because I don't remember the early years of my childhood) that this is the earliest snow I've ever seen.  Back when I was in Boone, we had snow on Thanksgiving weekend, but we've never to my knowledge had snow here before Thanksgiving.

Granted it didn't stick Tuesday or this morning, but it's still snow and still beautiful.  Also, just to let anybody who is unfamiliar with the area know, this weather is highly unusual.  Not only do we not see snow before Thanksgiving, but we rarely even see snow before the New Year.  I hope it keeps up though, it would be nice to have a white Christmas my last one here for a while.

The Little Jerry (Ep. 811)

Kramer, fed up with subpar eggs, decides to buy a chicken and get his own eggs.  Much to his surprise his chicken, Little Jerry Seinfeld, is really a rooster.  Jerry bounced a check at the bodega and can't get it taken down before his parents find out.  Elaine dates a man who shaves his head, but once she finds out he used to have thick hair she asks him to grow it back.  He does, but realizes he's going bald.

George using the foundation gets to go a women's penetentiary.  While there he meets a woman and asks her out on a date.  They begin dating and all is well until she is up for parole and he's afraid he's going to have to have a normal relationship.  In order to get Jerry's check taken down at the bodega, Kramer offers to let Little Jerry participate in cockfighting.

Interesting quote: "These are not 'scraps.'  These are historic remains of a once great society of hair." -George on his little bit of hair

Grade: B+ (Kramer's surprise on having a rooster instead of a hen)

The Andrea Doria (Ep. 810)

George thinks he's getting the new apartment that opened up across the hall, but his tenant association gives it to a survivor of the SS Andrea Doria.  To fight this, George tells the association all the ways he has suffered in his life.  Horrified at these true stories, they feel George has suffered the most and give it to him instead.  Unfortunately, Elaine's boyfriend bribes the landlord and gets the apartment.

Jerry helps Newman get a transfer to Hawaii by delivering his route, but he does too good of a job and Newman doesn't get the transfer.  Kramer, not wanting to go to the doctor for his cough, sees a vet instead and starts taking dog medication.  Elaine dates a bad-breaker-upper who says she has a big head.  At first she's not bother, but then it starts to get to her.  Eventually, she decides to stab him with a fork.

Interesting quote: "In closing, these stories have not been embellished because they need no embellishment.  They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man." - George

Grade: C (Not one of their best efforts)

Just thought I'd mention...

I read a newstory the other day about a woman here in Durham named Lavonia Allison.

Here at work today I just sent a package to a guy named Hall Melton.

Just some odd stuff that only people from school would get.

The Abstinence (Ep. 809)

George's girlfriend has mono, preventing them from having sex for 6 weeks.  Initially, George doesn't like it, but now he's thinking more clear than he ever has before.  The opposite is happening to Elaine whose boyfriend is studying for his medical board exams.  Kramer sees a group of guys standing outside Monks smoking and decides to invite them into his apartment to smoke.  This starts a 72 hour stretch of non-stop smoking for Kramer and after his looks go downhill, he runs to Jackie Chiles to sue the tobacco companies.

Jerry keeps getting bumped from career day at his middle school and his agent Katie thinks he deserves better.  So, she books him an entire 2 hour assembly.  George is going to help him out, but ends up having sex with a waitress and loses all his intelligence.  Kramer takes a settlement of having his face on a cigarette billboard and ruins Jackie once again.

Interesting quote: "What happened to your face?  It looks like an old catcher's mitt!" - Jerry

Grade: A+ (The entire episode is loaded with comedy goodness)

Torches Together

Why burn poor and lonely under a bowl

Under a lampshade or on the shelf

Aren't you unbearably sad?

Then why burn so poor and lonely?

We'll be like torches

We'll be like torches

We'll be like torches together! Torches together

We'll be like torches

We'll be like torches

I'm not sure if anyone here has heard Mewithoutyou before, but if not then you must.  They are certainly different, but they have amazing lyrics.  I don't know if this is what the song means, but it always makes me think of Romans 12:4-5 where it talks about the church being one body.  Sure we can do good things alone, but imagine if we all worked as one!  We could do great things, if churches would start acting like The Church and not businesses competing against each other.  I realize that many churches are doing this, my hope is that ALL churches will do this.

The Chicken Roaster (Ep. 808)

A Kenny Roger's Chicken Roaster moves in next door to Jerry and Kramer's apartment and a large red neon chicken is glaring into Kramer's window.  He can't take it any longer and so he switches apartments with Jerry since he's a heavy sleeper.  Kramer in the meantime attempts to shut down the restaurant since they won't cut off the sign.

Elaine abuses the J. Peterman expense account and almost gets away with it except for a Sable hat that George bought while with her.  She tries to get it back, but he left it at a date's house in an attempt to secure a second date.  He not only loses the hat, but also the date.  Elaine goes to Burma to get Peterman to sign off on the purchase, but he wants to see the hat first.

Interesting quote: "I'm like a commercial jingle.  First it's a little irritating.  You hear it a few times.  Then you're humming it in the shower." - George

Grade: C+ (The only funny part was Kramer and Jerry switching apartments and also personalities)

NCAA playoffs (Week 5)

Not really any changes this week at the top, so nothing really to report.  Hopefully next week after the Texas Tech/Oklahoma game there will be some changes.  Or The Citadel could beat Florida...I'm only kidding about that.

The Checks (Ep. 807)

Jerry keeps getting hundreds of twelve cent royalty checks from a Japanese variety show, but endorsing them is hurting his hand.  Elaine's new boyfriend is obsessed with the song Desperado and gets upset when Elaine tries to pick a song just for them.  Kramer is having fun with some Japanese tourists but has a misconception of the Yen to Dollar exchange rate and spends all of their money.

George hires a group of carpet cleaners who are a front for a religious cult and gets upset when they don't try to convert him.  Later when they come to clean the carpets at Yankee stadium, they actually convert Mr. Wilhelm.  George also tries to pitch the television show to a group of Japanese television producers.

Interesting quote: "Who buys an umbrella anyway?  You can get them for free in the coffee shop in the metal cans." - George

Grade: B-

The Fatigues (Ep. 806)

Elaine is frustrated with the guy running the mailroom at J. Peterman and tries to fire him but is intimidated by him and instead promotes him. Unfortunately, he's highly unqualified for this position and the other people quit in protest. Kramer throws a party for a large group of Jewish singles, but doesn't know how to cook for that many people. Frank had a bad experience cooking in the military, but agrees to do it anyway.

Jerry is frustrated when he finds out that his girlfriend's mentor is dating Kenny Bania. This leads him to start mentoring Bania on his comedy routine. George has to give a presentation on Risk Management, but doesn't know anything about the subject.

Interesting quote: "I've risen like a phoenix from Arizona!" - Frank Costanza

Grade: A-

The Package (Ep. 805)

Elaine gets frustrated because she notices her medical chart says she's difficult. When she mentions it to the doctor, he just makes another note and refuses to see her. She goes all over NYC, but every doctor has a copy of her records. Jerry wants a new cd player and so Kramer breaks it and sends it through the mail trying to get the USPS to pay for the damages. George sends provocative pictures of himself to a girl who works at the photo store. Later Jerry is investigated for mail fraud.

Interesting quote:
"I was look at my chart at the doctor's office and it said I was difficult. Why would they write that?" - Elaine
"They've obviously gotten to know you." - Jerry

Grade: A- (Classic episode)

The Little Kicks (Ep. 804)

Elaine decides to throw a party for the workers at the J. Peterman catalog.  George weasels his way into coming to the party and gets an eyeful when Elaine starts dancing.  She's awful and all of a sudden the workers have no respect for her.  She thinks it's George's fault and tells one girl to stay away from him.  She is intrigued by this "bad guy" that she thinks George is and so she starts dating him.

Jerry gets roped into bootlegging movies when Kramer's friend, Brodie, gets sick in the middle of Death Blow.  As it turns out, Jerry is pretty good at it and Brodie wants him to do another film.  He does it reluctantly, but then has issues with Brodie and backs out completely.  George trying to prove he really is bad decides to do the job, but gets caught.

Interesting quote: "It's more like a full-body dry heave set to music." - George on Elaine's dancing

Grade: A- (Sweet, fancy moses!  Glorious television)

The Bizarro Jerry (Ep. 803)

Elaine decides to use the "just be friends" line with her current boyfriend, Kevin, and much to her surprise he agrees.  She starts hanging out with him instead of the current group, and decides that Kevin is the opposite of Jerry.  Kramer gets a job at a Brandt/Leeland.  George gets "in" with a group of models when he starts showing a picture of Jerry's girlfriend and claiming it's his dead fiancee Susan.

The girl Jerry is dating is gorgeous, but she has "man-hands" and Jerry can't get past it.  Elaine then meets Kevin's friends, Gene and Feldman, who are also the exact opposite of George and Kramer.  She decides that she's had enough of her old group who is very immature and hangs out with her new friends.  Unfortunately, she's a little too much for them to handle and they disown her instead.

Interesting quote:  "I don't know if you've noticed it lately, but I've been drifting aimlessly." - Kramer

Grade: B+ (Another episode absolutely jam packed with good stuff)

Side note: This was episode 137 of 180, so I have 43 episodes left to watch and 47 days left in the year.  So, I am slightly ahead of schedule on finishing my quest.  I assume most people have stopped reading these posts, so I'm probably doing this only for me.

Creating character

Great article by Adam Smith over at Relevant about his recent divorce.  While he's talking about divorce it's about so much more than that and I feel everyone should read it.

The Soul Mate (Ep. 802)

Jerry starts dating Pam, who works at a bookstore, but he's not crazy about her until Kramer shows interest in her.  Kramer not only shows interest, but believes she is the one for him.  Elaine believes that she doesn't want to have kids and meets a guy who feels the same way...then he goes and gets a vasectomy to prove his dedication and she's not so sure.  Kramer and Jerry find out that Pam doesn't want kids so they go to get them as well, and Newman also since he is in love with Elaine.  In the end, only Kramer gets the procedure done.

George is suspicious that the people on the board of the foundation think he killed Susan.  Using Jerry's sugestion, he puts a tape recorder in a briefcase and leaves it in the board room.  Unfortunately, there's an accident and the briefcase gets ruined.  It's later discover, although not by George, that they really do just assume that he killed her, but they are apparently okay with it.

Interesting quote: "She can bring home the bacon and fry it in the pan." - Kramer

Grade: B (A speechless Kramer is something to behold)

The Foundation (Ep. 801)

George is through mourning the loss of Susan and is ready to get back to his old life of "single" George.  Unfortunately, Jerry quotes The Wrath of Khan to Susan's parents and they all of a sudden feel the need to create a foundation to remember her life...and put George on the board.  Elaine is left in charge of the J. Peterman catalogue when Peterman goes crazy and moves to Burma.  Kramer takes karate in a kids class and becomes a martial arts expert.

Interesting quote: 

"No rejection, no guilt, no remorse." - Jerry

"You've never felt remorse." - Elaine

"I know.  I feel bad about that." - Jerry

Grade: B+ (The funniest part to me is when Jerry and George exhibit the same reaction to Spock dying in The Wrath of Khan as they did to Susan dying)

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

This song was played in my honor the other day and my brother mentioned that one of his favorite groups had done a cover of the song.  While I like the group, I didn't care for their version of the song.  I just felt like the way they did it that they had lost all of the meaning, and if you lose the meaning of this song, it's just not the same.  I tried to explain this to my brother, but I don't think he understood.  So, I'll explain it here.

Bono (Paul Hewson) is from Dublin, Ireland and Bloody Sunday is an incident that took place back in the 70s where 14 unarmed protesters were killed in the streets of Ireland.  It was part of an ongoing battle in Ireland between two separate groups...not unlike what is going on in the Middle East right now.  U2 wrote the song, not to commemorate that day, but to encourage people to stop the violence.

He talks in the song about how the people of Ireland are basically forced to choose sides.

But I won't heed the battle call

It puts my back up

Puts my back up against a wall

And the battle's just begun

There's many lost, but tell me who has won

The trenches dug within our hearts

And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart.

The initial killings happened in 1972 and during a march in Ireland on November 8, 1987 called the Remembrance Day Parade there was a bombing that killed 11 people.  At a concert in Denver that same night, Bono went on a mid-song rant about the incident.  This is what he had to say:

And let me tell you somethin'.  I've had enough of Irish Americans who haven't been back to their country in twenty or thirty years come up to be and talk about the resistance, the revolution back home...and the glory of the revolution...and the glory of dying for the revolution.  F*** the revolution!!  They don't talk about the glory of killing for the revolution.  What's the glory in taking a man from his bed and gunning him down in front of his wife and children?  Where's the glory in that?  Where's the glory in bombing a Remembrance Day parade of old age pensioners, their medals taken out and polished up for the day.  Where's the glory in that?  To leave them dying or crippled for life or dead under the rubble of the revolution, that the majority of the people in my country don't want.  No more!  No more!  No more!"

The Invitations (Ep. 724)

George and Susan go to buy invitations since the wedding is a little over a month away.  George wanting to be cheap picks out the least expensive ones, much to Susan's distaste.  Jerry meets a girl who is just like him and immediately falls in love.  He can't get over how much he likes this girl and proposes to her.  Elaine is upset to find out that she is not going to be in the wedding.  Kramer also is not in the wedding anymore since he called Susan "Lily."

Kramer challenges a bank on their promise of a $100 to every customer if they aren't greeted with a "hello."  Kramer only gets a "hey", but manages to get $20 out of it.  Later, when Susan is doing the invitations, the glue from the envelopes is toxic and causes her to get sick and die.

Interesting fact: This is Larry David's final episode (with the exception of the Finale).

Interesting quote: "I can't be with someone like me.  I hate myself!" - Jerry

Grade: A+ (One of the best episodes in television history)

NCAA football playoffs (Week 4)

I made some pretty big changes to this week's bracket.  I didn't want to drop Penn St. that far because I felt like their loss to Iowa was a fluke loss, but they really don't have anything to prove that they are better than the 5 teams in front of them.  I also bit the bullet and included UNC in this weeks bracket.  I really feel like they have proven themselves (I think I'm going to be sick to my stomach).  Also, while I believe Alabama is capable of beating Florida, I don't want to jinx it.

The Wait Out (Ep. 723)

An off-handed comment by George causes Beth and David to separate.  Jerry and Elaine have both been "waiting out" this relationship so they could date the two respectively.  They devise a scheme to work themselves in and it works like a charm.  Unfortunately, George doesn't want to be blamed for the downfall of their relationship, so he clears things up.  This causes them to get back together, much to Jerry and Elaine's dismay.

Kramer, to prove Jerry wrong, starts wearing jeans again.  Only problem is, he chooses Lee Dungarees and now the pants are so tight he can't get them off.  This causes a problem when he can't sit down during an acting audition with Mickey, and then again during an interogation.

Interesting quote: "I got the body of a taut, preteen Swedish boy." - Kramer

Grade: B+ (Kramer's slapstick humor while wearing the pants is awesome.)

The Bottle Deposit, Parts 1 & 2 (Ep. 721 & 722)

Kramer and Newman scheme on how to make money off of the .10 bottle deposit in Michigan.  They eventually figure out that it will work using a USPS truck that Newman is driving.  Elaine goes to a JFK auction for J. Peterman to buy JFK's golf clubs.  She gets in a bidding war with Sue Ellen Mischke and ends up paying $15,000 more than he wanted.  She puts the clubs in Jerry's car, but then it gets stolen by his mechanic (Brad Garrett) who is upset that he doesn't care good care of it.

George is asked to do something by Mr. Wilhelm, but doesn't hear him because Mr. Wilhelm is in the bathroom.  Since he had been recently criticized for not paying attention, he decides to pretend like he knows the assignment.  Later, he gets praised for doing the job, even though he didn't.  Come to find out, Wilhelm forgot to take his medication and just did it himself, but did an awful job.  It was so bad that Mr. Steinbrenner, thinking George did it, has George sent to the nut house.

Interesting quote: "It was the Peace Corps that gave me my start.  Clothing the naked natives of Bantubesh." - J. Peterman

Grade: A- (Usually the one hour episodes get a high grade in my book.  Lots of good stuff.)

The Calzone (Ep. 720)

George gets ropped into getting Steinbrenner a Calzone from a local restaurant after he gets a taste of his calzone. This is ruined when the cashier at the restaurant thinks George is stealing from the tip jar. Jerry is using his girlfriend's power to get him out of bad situations. Elaine has unknowingly started dating a coworker who tricked her into going out with him. Kramer is using the oven to warm his clothes so he can get the fresh out of the dryer feel without having to use a quarter.

Interesting quote:
"You don't work in the rain? You're a mailman. 'Neither rain nor sleet nor...' It's the first one." - George
"I was never that big on creeds." - Newman

Grade: B

The Wig Master (Ep. 719)

Jerry uses Elaine to prove to a sales clerk that he really is interested in a jacket (even though he's not) and the clerk asks Elaine out on a date.  He promises Elaine a great deal on dress and Elaine eventually finds out that he's just leading her on.  George finds out that the owner of the car lot where he keeps his car is letting prostitutes turn tricks in the cars.  

He also has a friend of Susan's staying with them who is a Wig Master for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  Kramer meets the costume designer and talks them into letting him borrow the coat and wear it around for the day, and then with him using a cane from the J. Peterman cataloge, he looks like a pimp.  So much so that he gets arrested when he finds one of the prostitutes in his car at the car lot and is spotted by the police with the girl.

Grade: B+

A moment in history

The United States of America has just elected their first African American president.  Regardless of what you believe, you have to admit that this is an amazing moment in history.  Most people I know didn't vote for him, but they still agree that is something they'll remember for a long time.  This is a huge step.  Does it mean that the United States no longer has issues with race?  Not a chance, but it's a step in the right direction.

Some might say that he got elected only because of the dislike for President Bush and the Republican party right now.  Some might say he only got elected because he was black.  I disagree on both parts, because John Kerry tried 4 years ago to unseat President Bush and failed, and Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and Alan Keyes have all made attempts and failed.  He won because he ran a legitimate race.

If you didn't vote for Barack Obama, then please still support him as your President.  Pray for him.  Hope that he'll work with people that you agree with and do his best as the 44th President of the United States.  It's not an easy job, as many have proven before and he needs the support of everyone...not just Democrats.

The Friars Club (Ep. 718)

Jerry gets a date with Susan's friend and they go to the Friars Club, which Jerry is trying to get into.  They require a jacket and since Jerry doesn't have one, they loan him one with the Friars Club emblem on it.  Forgetting he had it on, he walks out with it, but then it later gets lost at a magic act and he's now in trouble with the Friars Club.

Kramer tries Da Vinci's method of 20 minutes of sleep every 3 hours, but it is backfiring on his love life.  His girlfriend who works for the mob thinks he is dead and has him bagged and thrown into the river.  Elaine has issues with a guy at work who she thinks is faking a hearing impairment to get out of work.  It later turns out that he was telling the truth.

Interesting quote:

"I got a lot in the hopper." - Kramer

"Didn't know you had one." - Jerry

"Oh, I got a hopper.  A big hopper." - Kramer

Grade: B-

Duke basketball

So, Kimberly and I made it out for our first Duke game of the year last night.  It was just an exhibition game against Division II Lenoir-Rhyne, but it was still good.  It was nice to get a view of the new freshmen Miles Plumlee and Elliot Williams and to see how else we've improved since last season.  I'm excited for this upcoming season.  It was very disappointing not to see Johnny Dawkins on the sideline last night though, but I wish him well at Stanford this year.  Lastly, here are a couple of photos we got last night.  Enjoy.

The famous Cameron Crazies...man I wish I was back in that section instead of sitting in the stands.

Freshman Elliot Williams throwing down a dunk.  Picture courtesy of my beautiful wife Kimberly.

The Doll (Ep. 717)

Jerry, while performing in Memphis bumps into Sally, Susan's college roommate.  She gives him a wedding present for George and Susan which he has to hold on the plane so it doesn't get messed up.  In doing so, he breaks a bottle of barbeque sauce in his bag that he was going to use for his act on another show.  Later she comes to NY herself and Jerry asks her to pick up a bottle of this same barbeque sauce for him, but she gets the wrong kind.

George is freaked out by a doll that Susan owns that looks exactly like his mother.  Frank turns George's old bedroom into a billiard room.  Elaine gets an autograph from one of the three tenors to replace the one she ruined of the Maestros, but then ruins that one also.  Jerry in a last desperation for something for his routine, asks for the doll that looks just like George's mom, but Sally doesn't think that's funny so she brings him a different doll.

Interesting quote: "Jerry, come on.  If my mother keeps shrinking, this is exactly what she is going to look like in ten years." - George on Susan's doll looking exactly like his mom

Grade: B-

The Shower Head (Ep. 716)

Jerry's parents are staying at Leo's in New York for awhile until moving into Del Boca Vista in Florida and he's miserable in the meantime.  To get them to leave, he gets Leo to break up with his girlfriend so he has to move back into his place and force the Seinfelds out.  This works, but then the Costanzas decide to move there and this causes the Seinfelds to decide to stay.

Jerry and Kramer are disappointed with the low flow showerheads being installed in their building and get black market showerheads to replace them.  Elaine keeps failing a drug test for her trip to Africa with Peterman, but then discovers it is because of poppy seed muffins she's been eating.  In the end, the Costanzas decide to stay and the Seinfelds leave when low flow showerheads are installed in Leo's apartment.

Interesting quote: "If you could perhaps conduct the psychopath convention down the hall." - Jerry to his parents and the Costanzas

Grade: B (Kramer using the showerhead meant for Elephants at the end)

The Cadillac, Parts 1 & 2 (Ep. 714 & 715)

Jerry gets a very large payment from a gig he did and decides to buy his dad a Cadillac with the money.  He picks it up and delivers it in person to impress his dad, which it does, but his mom wants to give it back because they don't need it.  Jack Klompus and the others in the community begin to think that Morty is stealing funds to pay for the car and have a vote to impeach him as President of the community.  The one woman who is going to vote in favor of Morty is the same woman that Jerry stole the marble rye from and once she remembers that it was him, she switches her vote and Morty is impeached.

Kramer is hiding from the cable guy to keep from getting an illegal service disconnected in his apartment.  George begins to reconsider his engagement to Susan when he finds out that one of Elaine's friends knows Marisa Tomei and thinks she would like George.  He goes so far as to set up a meeting between him and Marisa.  This causes Susan to think that George is having an affair with Elaine.  He has the meeting and all goes well until he tell Marisa that he's engaged.

Interesting quote: "You know, you could put a fence around these condos and call it an insane asylum.  Nobody would know the difference!"

Grade: A- (Not one of my favorites originally, but it gets better everytime I watch it)

The Seven (Ep. 713)

George tells Susan that he wants to name their first kid Seven in honor of the great Mickey Mantle. She thinks its ridiculous and tells her cousin who is about to have a kid. They like the idea and decide to take it, instead of George's suggestion of Soda. Jerry and Elaine go to an antique store where Elaine sees an old school girls bike that she wants, but she hurts her neck trying to pull it off the shelf.

She haphazzardly says that she'll give the bike to anyone who makes her neck feel better. Kramer does and then wants the bike, but she doesn't want to give it up. They take the dispute to Newman who in a Soloman-like decision says he is going to saw the bike in half. After Elaine agrees, he gives it to Kramer instead. Kramer devises a system to keep track of what he takes from Jerry's refrigerator.

Interesting quote: "I miss the days when they made toys that could kill a kid." - Jerry

Grade: B+ (Kramer riding the girls bike with tassels is awesome!)

NCAA football playoffs (Week 3)

Georgia disappointed so they are out, probably for good. Utah squeaked out a victory over New Mexico. Tulsa lost to Arkansas (is that Arkansas' first Div. 1-A win this year?). Texas lost, but I still think is very, very good. Texas Tech impressed with their defense.

On a side note, I wish I could put Appalachian St. into this bracket (technically I can since it's my bracket), because they really impressed this weekend. They beat conference rival Wofford 70-24. The quarterback Armanti Edwards was 17-19 with 364 yards passing! Not bad. But on the positive side, Appalachian State gets to play in a playoff. Actually it's only good for the other Division 1-AA teams because if this were like 1-A they would have already crowned App St. the champions for the 4th year in a row.

The Caddie (Ep. 712)

Kramer befriends a caddy who helps him improve his golf game and also gives him advice in other areas of his life.  George leaves his car at work and Mr. Steinbrenner thinks he's working extra hard.  Elaine gets upset at former high school friend Sue Ellen Mischke who won't wear a bra, so she gets her one.  Later when Kramer is driving George's car he sees Sue Ellen on the street wearing only the bra and he gets into a wreck.  

Instead of telling George, he just takes it back to Yankee stadium.  Now Mr. Steinbrenner thinks George is missing/dead.  Kramer sues Sue Ellen, but again ruins the lawsuit for Jackie when his caddie suggests that Sue Ellen try on the bra.  But it doesn't fit so the suit is thrown out.

Interesting quote: 

"Are you going to tell your parents you're still alive?" - Jerry

"No, they could use the break." - George

Grade: B

The Rye (Ep. 711)

George has dinner with his family and Susan's family and he's dreading it.  His parents bring a marble rye for dinner, but the Rosses forget to put it out, so Frank takes it back.  Now George needs to find a way to put the marble rye back in the Ross' house.  Kramer is driving a hansom cab for a neighbor while he's out of town.  Elaine is dating a saxophonist, but is disappointed that he "won't do everything."  Later he eventually does everything, but it completely ruins a performance he had for a record company.

George and Jerry comes up with a plan where Kramer will take the Rosses out on a ride in the hansom cab and Jerry will bring a rye for George to put in their house.  All goes smoothly until a lady at the bakery buys the last rye and Jerry has to steal it from her on the street.  Also, Kramer feeds the horse beefareeno, causing it to have gas and ruin the trip.  Later they catch George trying to sneak the marble rye into the house.

Interesting quote: "Let me understand.  You've got the hen, the chicken, and the rooster.  The rooster goes with the chicken.  So who's having sex with the hen?" - Frank Costanza

Grade: A- (Jerry stealing a marble rye from an old lady...awesome!)

World Series thoughts

So I haven't commented on baseball since just shortly after the playoffs started but here we sit in the middle of game 5 of the World Series.  Going into last nights game, Carlos Pena and Evan Longoria were struggling in the Series, but that's not unusual.  It seems to happen to some of the best hitters in just about every World Series.  In '04 Jim Edmonds, with a career AVG. near .300, hit just 1-15.  In '01 Derek Jeter went 4-27.  And Eddie Murphy in 2 Series covering 13 games, hit 6-45 for a .133 AVG.  You know the person is capable, you just wonder if the Series will go long enough for them to break out of the funk.  I think it has for Pena and Longoria, and I think (hope) that is bad news for the Phillies.

Speaking of the Phillies, their fans love to boo.  I swear during the 5 1/2 innings I watched last night that they booed about 10 times for various "reasons."  A Rays player came out of the dugout, a pitch came within 2 feet of one of their precious hitters, Kazmir made a pick-off move to first, Kazmir said something to the ump about pitchers mound turning into a mud pie.  It just never stopped.  One time that they didn't boo, which they should have was when Cole Hamels made about 8 throws over to first base before even throwing a pitch to Carlos Pena in the 6th.

I think this Series is shaping up nicely.  I was very depressed after game 4, but after seeing the Rays hold their own in game 5 and pretty much cancel out a Cole Hamels start I think they'll be okay.  They may not win, but it will be going back to Tampa...thankfully no rain in the Trop.

The Gum (Ep. 710)

George thinks the cashier at Monks purposely shortchanged him and is furious that she won't admit it.  Kramer and Lloyd Braun, who's just been released from a mental institution are fixing up a worn down old theater.  Kramer is doing everything he can to make sure people make Lloyd feel safe.  In doing so, he gets Jerry to wear glasses and chew gum from China town which tastes like Lo Mein.  Later, a former neighbor of George's thinks he is crazy because of all of his accusations of other people and his refusal to take any blame for anything.

Interesting quote: "I think I finally figured out what the flavor is in this gum. It's a little lo-meiny." - Jerry

Grade: B- (It has moments, but even those aren't very good)

NCAA football playoffs (Week 2)

Not many changes in the seeding of the teams, except USC which I felt really hurt itself and UGA which put on an impressive display this week against LSU. Other teams showed to me that they were better than I had originally thought and so there are serious changes in the predictions for the outcome of the games.

The Sponge (Ep. 709)

Elaine learns that her birth control the Today Sponge is being taken off the market and drives all over NYC cleaning stores out of the last remaining product. This causes her to be extra careful about how she uses them. George shares a secret to Susan and she assumes that he's supposed to share all his secrets. They fight and later when they make up, George finds out that she uses the Today Sponge. He goes to Elaine to get one, but she won't give one up.

Jerry gets a girl's phone number off of an AIDS walk list. Kramer joins in on the walk, but refuses to wear the AIDS ribbon. This gets him jumped by the same homosexual guys who stole Elaine's armoire from him.

Quote:
"So you think you're spongeworthy?" - Elaine
"Yes, I'm definitely spongeworthy" - Billy

Grade: B

The Pool Guy (Ep. 708)

Jerry is stalked by the pool guy at the Health Club and he can't get rid of him.  Elaine befriends Susan and all seems fine until George realizes that his two worlds are colliding.  This however all comes to an end when Susan realizes she can't stand spending time with Jerry and Elaine.  Kramer's phone is mixed up with the moviefone number and instead of doing something about it, he plays along with it.

Interesting quote: "A George divided against itself cannot stand." - George

Grade: A- (Kramer playing off the moviefone thing is hilarious)

The Secret Code (Ep. 707)

George gets into a fight with Susan because he refuses to give up his secret code to his ATM card.  Kramer suggests new map routes to the fire department after hearing them get stuck in traffic on his new emergency scanner.  Jerry goes to do a commercial for Leapin' Larry (who has a limp), but offends him when his foot falls asleep and Larry thinks Jerry is making fun of him.  Elaine has a fascination with a guy who can't remember anything about her.

George ends up going to Peterman's mother's deathbed and telling her his code, but then she reveals it right before her death.  This drives Peterman crazy as he's trying to figure out what it means.  Later, George ends up having to give it up to save a man who is trapped in an ATM booth and fire is closing in on him.  The secret code is Bosco, the name of George's favorite brand of chocolate syrup.

Quote: 

"Why can't there be some things just for me?  Is that so selfish? - George

"Actually, that's the definition of selfish." - Jerry

Grade: B- (Only this high for the scene of Kramer driving the fire truck).

The Miserable Ones

So I have begun reading Les Miserables and I can't believe I haven't read this before.  I'm not that far in, but I loved it the second I started reading it.  I am sure there will be many more, but the quote I read today is my favorite so far.

"This is not my house; it is the house of Jesus Christ.  This door does not demand of him who enters whether he has a name, but whether he has a grief.  You suffer, you are hungry and thirsty; you are welcome."

- Bishop Bienvenu

Thought of the day

"What would a blind OCD person be like?" - This comes from the mind of my beautiful wife Kimberly.

Pro-Life voting

This is a tough thing for me to write, it's something I've struggled with for quite some time now.  You have Candidate A who is pro-choice and Candidate B who is pro-life.  In the past I would automatically say that I'm voting for the pro-life candidate, but recently that's not necessarily the case.  What happens when I disagree with so many things that the pro-life candidate is offering?  I have to consider what the pro-life candidate is doing to change abortion.  In my opinion abortion is never going to be outlawed and I don't really think that's the answer anyway.

I don't think abortion is going to ever be changed by politicians.  Nevermind that I don't have a whole lot of faith in politicians to do anything, I believe abortion is a personal issue that needs to be changed in the way of a movement, not a bill that's passed.  I think people's minds need to be changed not the law, otherwise you can change the law, but people will still find a way to have an abortion.  I would rather vote for a candidate that I agree with on most issues, but disagree on one and work personally to change that one, than to vote for someone I mostly disagree with, but agree with on one.

I know this sounded confusing, but it made sense to me.  Please, let's work to lower and hopefully one day eliminate abortion, because the most powerful things in this country come from the people, not the government.  If you don't believe me, check out New Orleans.