The Pick (Ep. 413)

Jerry is dating the supermodel, Tia, that he met on the airplane and things are going well until Kramer comes into the apartment and smells her perfume that she's modeling for Calvin Klein. It's a scent called "The Ocean." This upsets Kramer since he pitched an idea for a cologne called "The Beach" and was laughed out of the building. Also, Tia catches Jerry scratching his nose, but thinks that he was picking it.

Elaine gets an idea to take a picture and put it on her Christmas cards she's sending out. Kramer offers to take the picture and put together the cards for her. The cards get sent out and Jerry notices something unusual about the picture...Elaine's nipple is showing. She's mortified and upset because everyone she knows, including her "religious" boyfriend Fred, received one. The people in the office start calling her Nip and Fred breaks up with her.

George starts regreting breaking up with Susan and is depressed over it. He goes to see a shrink, but can't even talk to her because his zipper is stuck on his jacket and it's frustrating him. He ends up, even though everyone told him not to, getting back with her. He immediately regrets his decision and looks for a way out. He decides to pick his nose in front of her to gross her out.

Jerry and Kramer go down to Calvin Klein, Jerry to approach Tia and Kramer to talk to Calvin Klein himself. Kramer ends up catching the eye of CK and asks him to be an underwear model. Tia won't talk to Jerry and swears that she knows what she saw. As the show ends, Kramer shows his new underwear ad for CK and the group thinks Kramer might have made a slip of his own in the picture.

Interesting quote: "When she came out of the bathroom, I was in up to my wrist." - George, on picking his nose

Grade: A- (Elaine rubbing George's face in her breast when he asked why he didn't get a Christmas card was priceless!)

The Airport (Ep. 412)

Jerry and Elaine are coming back from a trip to St. Louis. He had a gig and she visited her sister since he received an extra ticket from the people who booked him. George is had made a bet for $50 that he could jump and touch the awning at Jerry's building. He wasn't even close, but Jerry said he could make it up by picking them up at the airport. Their flight is cancelled, but they get two tickets on a flight into La Guardia. Unfortunately, one is in first class and the other in coach. Jerry takes the first class because Elaine has never sat in first class and wouldn't know how to handle herself (according to him).

George and Kramer get to JFK and as they are trying to find their flight they have encounters. Kramer bumps into a guy who owed him money from 20 years back and George takes the last issue of Time from a convicted criminal who is being transported. They find out the flight change and head to La Guardia. When they get there, they discover the flight has been rerouted back to JFK.

Jerry and Elaine are having total opposite experiences on the plane. Jerry sits with a supermodel and enjoys lavish treats in first class, while Elaine is cramped, starved, and miserable in coach. When Kramer and George get back to JFK Kramer convinces George to buy a ticket so that he can go on the plane and confront the man who owe's him money. He tells George that he can refund it and George tells him to buy a second one so he can get more flyer miles. They go on the plane, but Kramer gets kicked off and George is attacked in the bathroom by the convict he made mad earlier.

Interesting quote: "And the car smells like a cheap hooker, or is that you?" - Jerry

Grade: B+ (Another solid effort)

Facts about Morocco: Part II

I started this a while back with the promise of continuing to give more information about Jordan and Morocco (the two places I could possibly be living for the next couple of years). I admit I kind of slacked off. Okay, I just didn't do it. However, Kimberly and I have now found out that we are about 95% sure we are going to Morocco. This is good news since this is the one we preferred.

We have a book checked out from the library about travel in Morocco and right now I am scanning through the history to learn a little more about the background of the country. I haven't gotten very far, but here's what I've learned already. The term Berber, by which most of the locals are known, comes from the word barbarians and was given to them by the Romans. This I find odd since the Romans were a pretty barbaric bunch themselves. So either the Romans were idiots or the native Moroccans were really, really barbaric.

Speaking of the Romans, they ruled in Morocco during the height of their empire; probably a couple hundred years after Christ. They slowly began to lose grip of the kingdom because they were essentially being chased out by the local factions. Finally, they resulted to just supporting a Berber king of their choosing. He was elected, but then that fell apart too and eventually they lost complete control of the country and surrounding areas.

For the previous post on Morocco, it was posted on May 30th.

The Contest (Ep. 411)

After George tells the group that he was "caught" by his mother, causing her to fall and hurt her back, they all make a bet to see who can go the longest without.

Very shortly after they make the bet, Kramer storms into Jerry's apartment, slams his money down on the counter, and declares, "I'm out!" There is a beautiful woman walking around nude with her blinds up in the apartment building over from Kramer and Jerry and Kramer can't take it anymore. Jerry is dating Marla, the Virgin, and can't get any from her and therefore can't get any sleep. George goes to visit his mother at the hospital only to stumble upon a beautiful nurse giving a beautiful patient a sponge bath in the bed next to his mother's. Elaine goes to an aerobics class and ends up talking to JFK Jr. who she is very attracted to. Soon after, this takes a toll on her and she backs out of the bet.

Jerry is about to finally make it with Marla when he, for some reason, tells her about the bet. This makes her mad and she leaves the apartment. While leaving the apartment, she bumps into Elaine who's waiting for JFK Jr. to pick her up outside of Jerry's apartment. She tells Elaine that she thinks they are all disgusting and never wants to talk to any of them. In the end, Elaine misses Jr. and Marla ends up leaving with him after he consoles her. As the show ends, Jerry, Elaine, and George spot Kramer in the nudist's apartment.

Interesting fact: This is the first actual appearance of George's mom, Estelle. It is not said who won the bet between Jerry and George, but in the final episode, George confesses to Jerry that he cheated. So it's assumed that George "won" initially.

Interesting quote:
Jerry: "But are you still master of your domain?"
George: "I am King of the county, you?"
Jerry: "Lord of the manor."

Jerry: "The question is, 'Are you still master of your domain?'"
Elaine: "I'm Queen of the castle."

Grade: A+ (Genius episode, excellent. Nothing bad to say about it.)

The Virgin (Ep. 410)

While Jerry and George are at the comedy club they bump into a woman who he once met and strikes up a relationship with her again. Later on, he finds out she is a virgin. After Elaine goes on and on about her diaphragm in front of her, he tells Elaine, who feels bad and goes to apologize. While doing so, she educates her about how men act after they have sex. This terrifies her and she refuses to have sex with Jerry either.

George finds that telling women that he's a writer for television is a great pick-up line. Unfortunately, he's dating Susan. He wants to break up with her, but Jerry says he can't because it would risk the television show. Later when they go in to finally pitch their idea for the pilot episode to NBC, George kisses Susan and this gets her fired. George is overjoyed, but then Jerry lets him know that he can't break up with her now because she just lost her job.

Interesting quote:
Elaine: "I was just giving her the straight dope."
Jerry: "More like the dope was giving it to her straight."

Grade: C+ (Not one of the more interesting episodes)

The Opera (Ep. 409)

The opera Pagliacci starring Pavarotti is coming to town and Kramer gets 6 tickets for him, Jerry, George, Susan, Elaine, and her new boyfriend Joey. Joey happens to be Crazy Joe Davola who at this moment is out to get Jerry because he thinks that Jerry sabotaged a deal that he had with NBC. Unfortunately, Jerry doesn't know Elaine is dating Joe Davola and Elaine doesn't know that Joe Davola is out to get Jerry.

Elaine pops in on her boyfriend Joey to find that he's been taking pictures of her secretely and has a little bit of a shrine to her in his apartment. She starts getting freaked out and tells him that her friend wasn't able to get tickets to see Pagliacci. This upsets him since Pagliacci is his favorite opera. He begins to tell her that it's about this clown Pagliacci who has a wife named Nedda who cheats on him. He begins to suspect that Elaine is cheating on him and freaks out and won't let her go, so she sprays him in the face with Cherry Binaca to get away.

Susan can't go either, so now there are 2 extra tickets to the show. Kramer and George get the bright idea to scalp them, so they stand out on the corner away from the theater offering them to anyone who comes by. They have a disagreement over how much to sell the tickets for so they seperate. Kramer is approached by Crazy Joe Davola, who is dressed like Pagliacci, and is frightened (Kramer is terrified of clowns) into selling him the tickets. George finds someone to buy his ticket and is closing the deal, but then Susan shows up and says that she was able to make it. George sells the ticket anyway and gives Susan his ticket.

Interesting quote: "It is so sad. All of your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons." - Elaine

Grade: B- (Kind of dull, but seeing Kramer squirm while talking to Crazy Joe Davola/Pagliacci is great!)

College football is here...

But just to clarify, it's still baseball season. With that being said, in the spirit of the start of the gloriousness that is college football, lets make some opening weekend picks.

#1Georgia vs. Georgia Southern - Georgia
#2Ohio St. vs. Youngstown St. - Ohio St.
Virginia vs. #3USC - USC
#4Oklahoma vs. UT-Chattanooga - Oklahoma
#5Florida vs. Hawaii - Florida
#6Missouri vs. #20Illinois - Illinois
#7LSU vs. App. St. - Tempting, but I'll go with LSU
#8W. Virginia vs. Villanova - W. Virginia
#9Clemson vs. #24Alabama - No way I'm not picking Alabama
#10Auburn vs. LA-Monroe - Auburn
#11Texas vs. Florida Atlantic - Texas
#12Texas Tech vs. E. Washington - Texas Tech
#13Wisconsin vs. Akron - Wisconsin
#14Kansas vs. Florida International - Kansas
#15Arizona St. vs. N. Arizona - Arizona St.
#16BYU vs. N. Iowa - BYU
ECU vs. #17Va Tech - ECU
#18Tennessee vs. UCLA - Tennessee
#19Oregon vs. Washington - Washington
#21Penn St. vs. Coastal Carolina - Penn St.
Baylor vs. #22Wake Forest - Wake Forest
#25Pitt vs. Bowling Green - Bowling Green

Can you do better?

The Cheever Letters (Ep. 408)

George has to have dinner with Susan's parents to let them know about the cabin burning down. The dad doesn't take it well since it's one of his favorite places to go and it had been in the family since 1947. Later, someone from the insurance company shows up with a box saying it was the only thing that was salvaged from the cabin. Susan opens it to discover that it's filled with letters from author John Cheever. She begins reading them only to learn that they are addressed to her dad and are about an affair that the two of them had one time. Her dad walks in and takes them away and storms off.

Jerry and George are trying to write the script for the pilot episode of the the Seinfeld show, but are having "writers" block. They never make any progress and they keep taking breaks to get away from having to write more. During one break, Jerry calls Elaine at work and complains to her that her secretary always talks his ear off when he calls. She mentions this to her secretary, but she gets upset and quits. To make things better, Jerry ends up calling to clear things up and ends up going on a date with her. Things start getting pretty hot and heavy at his apartment and she starts talking dirty. Jerry trying to keep up with her uses the line, "you mean the panties your mother laid out for you?" but this only disgusts and offends her making her storm out.

To try to keep Elaine from finding out, he tells her to fire her instead of letting her come back. She doesn't fire her, but has her transfered to another office. This causes her to tell Mr. Lippman about Elaine's personal calls to Europe on the company phone. Elaine tells Jerry and gets him to pay, which he gladly does just to keep anything else from being said. In the end, Elaine tells George and Jerry that she knew all along about the comment.

Interesting quote: "She just bought me some new panties and they're all laid out for me." - Elaine

Grade: B+ (bizarre, but that's what makes a good Seinfeld episode)

There is no I in TEAM

How come this phrase is only really used in reference to sports? Why can't it be used in the real world as well? For instance, when an employee in a company is doing something that directly hinders that company from growing and being sucessful. A sports reference of this would be when the Texas Rangers were criticized for paying Alex Rodriguez $25 million dollars a year. With that equating to 1/4 of the teams payroll, it prevented them from getting the other players they required to be successful. Business is the same way, I believe. Some examples:

IBM CEO: $1.8 million

GM CEO: $8.5 million

Ford CEO: $39 million (I don't know if this is his actual salary, because I couldn't find that, however this is how much he made the first 4 months on the job with incintives, etc.)

I picked these three companies because they are notorious for their layoffs in recent years, heck IBM has always been notorious for layoffs. I will say that I read that GM's CEO cut his salary in half, but still that's $4.25 million a year. There are thousands of hardworking individuals who are probably scrapping by on what these companies pay them, and they are the ones who get hurt. It's not right.

The Bubble Boy (Ep. 407)

Susan invites George to her parents cabin for the weekend and he invites Jerry and his girlfriend, Naomi. However, George leaves a message on Jerry's answering machine making fun of Naomi's laugh and she overhears it. This causes her to break up with him and forces him to invite Elaine instead. George doesn't want Kramer to come on the trip though because Susan doesn't like him. This works out when Kramer says he's going to be playing golf all weekend at a top-notch private club.

Jerry is approached by a man in Monk's Cafe who says that his son has to constantly live in a bubble because germs would kill him and he would love nothing more than to meet Jerry for his birthday. Jerry reluctantly agrees, but it works out when Susan tells him that it's on the way to the cabin. Unfortunately, Jerry is following George to the cabin and he loses him because George is driving too fast and Jerry doesn't have the directions to the Bubble Boy's house or the cabin. George and Susan end up meeting the Bubble Boy alone and playing Trivial Pursuit with him. He is not a little boy though, and him and George end up getting in a fight over the game and thus injuring the Bubble Boy.

Kramer later is in Jerry's apartment and overhears a message from Naomi saying she's changed her mind and would like to go the cabin if it's not too late. Kramer has decided that he's going to go after his golf game is cancelled and offers to take her. They get up there, but since Jerry is lost and George is at the Bubble Boy's house nobody is at the cabin. They let themselves in and have a get prepared to go for a swim. Unfortunately, Kramer forgets his Cuban cigar (given to him by George via Susan's dad) and it catches the cabin on fire, burning the whole place down. The rest of the group shows up just in time to see the place go up in flames.

Interesting quote: "She sounds like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer." - Jerry on his girlfriend Naomi's laugh

Grade: A- (One of the best episodes ever and a welcome relief to the "hour long/...to be continued" episodes)

Pray for: Georgia

The country, not the state (although it might need prayer as well).

President: Mikhail Saakashvili

Capital: Tbilisi

Population: 4.6 million

Religions: Orthodox (84%), Islam (10%), Catholic (1%)

Issues: Based on what I've learned they have made tremendous progress in the last 4 years in cleaning up corruption within the government and throughout the country. They still have economic issues, but are improving that situation. Still they have an unemployment rate at roughly 12.5%. Tensions have risen recently with Russia and that's obviously going to slow any progress they have made thus far. Pray that peace will come to the country so that the people of the country may continue to move towards a better life.

The Wallet & The Watch (Ep. 405 & 406)

Jerry's parents come into town so that his dad can see a back specialist that Leo arranged for him to see. He goes to the appointment, but when he leaves the room to get some x-rays, someone steals his wallet. This causes him to get very upset and start accusing the entire office of being crooks. He walks out and refuses to pay for his visit (not that he can because he doesn't have a wallet). Later, Jerry is out to dinner with his parents and Leo and they realize Leo is wearing a watch almost exactly like the one they gave Jerry. The thing is, it is the exact same watch. Leo picked it up out of the trash after Jerry threw it away because it didn't work. Jerry approaches Leo in the bathroom to try to buy his watch back from him so that he can show his parents that he owns it still. Unfortunately, his dad walks in and catches the whole deal going down.

George turns down their offer of $13,000 saying it's not good enough and that they are negotiating. Susan tries to tell him it's a standard deal for people with no experience or no "real" idea, but he balks. He tells Jerry, which upsets him because he understands that there are hundreds of people trying to get a pilot and that if they don't take the deal, they'll just move on to the next person. Later Susan informs George that Russell Dalrymple(President of NBC) has moved on to the next available show offer and will not negotiate with them.

Elaine can't get out of her dating relationship that she's in with her psychiatrist, Dr. Reston, because he knows all of her excuses that she uses to back out of relationships. So she tells him that she is seeing another person. When he calls her bluff and asks for a name she panics and names Kramer. Now, she has to get Kramer to call him and tell him they are dating. Dr. Reston convinces Kramer to come in and talk to him face to face. While he's seeing Dr. Reston, Elaine bumps into Crazy Joe Davola who introduces himself as Joey.

Interesting fact: Elaine finally makes her first full acting appearance of the season.

Interesting quote:
Susan: "You know it's a pretty standard deal?"
George: "Standard deal? Is Ted Danson's deal standard? You know the guy from Cheers?"
Susan: "Yeah, I know who he is. You're not Ted Danson."

Grade: B- (I'm really getting tired of the full hour and "to be continued" shows, I want my old Seinfeld back)

The Ticket (Ep. 404)

Jerry notices some stranger than usual things about Kramer after he has been kicked in the head by "Crazy" Joe Davola and suspects he's got a concusion. He tells Kramer that he's going to take him to the doctor after his meeting with NBC. Him and George managed to land a follow up meeting with them after their not-so-good first meeting. Jerry convinces George to change his tune and not be so set on the idea.

George completely flip-flops and starts talking about how story is the most important aspect of a good show. This seems to appease the execs and they say that they want to make a pilot. They offer them $13,000 for a pilot episode. This makes George mad as he assumes they would be getting much more than that since Ted Danson makes $800,000 an episode for appearing on Cheers. While in the coffee shop after the meeting they spot Joe Davola outside and are scared to leave because he is supposedly looking for them.

Newman recruits Kramer to go to traffic court with him to contest his ticket. He's contesting on the basis that he was rushing to see Kramer who was about to commit suicide. They come up with the idea that he was depressed because he could not be a banker. Things are going semi-well until Kramer's concussion starts to backfire and he can't remember what he was supposed to say in court. Newman ends up paying the fine anyway.

Interesting fact: This is the first appearance of Susan, George's girlfriend and eventual fiancee.

Interesting quote: "Artistic integrity? What was that all about? You aren't artistic and you have no integrity!" - Jerry

Grade: B (interesting episode, but I miss Elaine)

The Pitch (Ep. 403)

Jerry is approached by NBC executives (just like in real life) who like his stand-up routine and are interested in working with him on creating a sitcom. Somehow George works his way into helping Jerry come up with an idea for the show. He decides, and somehow convinces Jerry, that their show should be about nothing. Whatever you do in everyday life, that's what the show is about. The president of NBC is not so thrilled about the idea of a show that is about absolutely nothing. Jerry tries to save the meeting by contending that it is about something, that something does happen, but George completely disagrees. He gets upset and starts talking about how his "artistic integrity" will not be compromised.

Kramer makes a trade with Newman giving him a radar detector for a bicycle helmet. Later, Newman gets a speeding ticket because the radar detector doesn't actually work. Kramer also pitches the idea of Jerry being the ringleader for a circus freak show for the sitcom; Jerry quickly rejects this idea.

Jerry and George go to NBC to pitch the idea and while there bump into "Crazy" Joe Davola. Joe Davola is an aquaintance of Jerry and Kramer's and Jerry in his nervousness makes a comment about seeing Joe at Kramer's party. Joe is not invited to Kramer's party and gets upset with Kramer. Eventually, Kramer gets blindsided by a Joe Davola kick and smashes his head on the sidewalk. Luckily, he is wearing the bicycle helmet he got from Newman.

This is the end of "The Pitch" It picks back up in the next episode "The Ticket" I'll finish the review in that episode.

Mind bottling and other oddities

This post is dedicated to some strange things I've heard people say (or type). Over the years I've heard lots of people say or write some pretty stupid stuff, but most of that has to do with their lack of education. This post will only attack the "educated" individuals.

1. The other night while watching the Olympics, I actually heard Bob Costas say, "it's just so mind-bottling." Thankfully, I was at my parents and had the advantage of DVR to listen to it repeatedly. He really did say this. Bob, seriously!

Chazz (Will Ferrell): "Mind-bottling, isn't it?"
Jimmy (Jon Heder): "Did you just say mind-bottling?"
Chazz (Will Ferrell): "Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle."
This is from Blades of Glory if you didn't know, but you should.

2. While reading the glorious newspaper known as the Durham Herald-Sun I noticed this statement: "So and so noticed it as soon as they had driven passed the intersection." This is not the only time I've seen this used in this context. I was terrible in English, and I especially hated grammar, maybe that was because stuff like this was so obvious to me. These are journalists writing this stuff, they have degrees from big time colleges!

3. Lastly, I don't have a reference or direct quote for this one, mainly because I have heard it used in so many places by so many people. It is probably the most irritating of the misquoted phrases I've heard. People saying "vice-A-versa" instead of "vice versa." I know it seems petty and it shouldn't bother so much, but it does, because people should know.

If you say these things either because you think they are funny or because you really don't know better...please for the love of all things, don't say them around me.

Bad things happen

it floods! I know that's not the original saying, but it much more applies to my life right now than, "when it rains, it pours." Have you ever noticed though, how things are going great and you get something that's not so good? You probably shake it off and say, things are going to be alright, but then something else hits...and it's worse. And then another thing, and they get progressively worse. It's like the song, "Anything you can do, I can do better."

This is my life in the last 24 hours, it's absurd. Yesterday, Kim came home and told me her doctor's appointment cost a little more than expected. No big deal, it wasn't too much and we have a little extra. Then she tells me the doctor recommended she come back in later and get something checked out. My worry meter starts increasing, but I sit back and realize that God will take care of us like always. This morning I go out to leave for work, start the car, pop it in reverse and it knocks off. This is not unusual as it knocks off in this manner every so often. This time though, it wouldn't restart. I'm not stressing, I promise! Then I get to work, and I'm checking the account online to see what's gone through the bank, etc. I spot this out of place transaction for an obscene amount of money. An obscene amount of money that Kim and I don't have, especially now that someone else has it. Are you kidding me?!? Is God playing some kind of cruel joke on me and Kim? Is he punishing us for being good with our finances? for tithing? for giving to charity?

I will trust that God will take care of things. It's very difficult for me to do, but it shouldn't be. We have been in more difficult situations before and God has provided and blessed on top of that. I know he will do the same here.

Matthew 6:34 - "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

The Trip Part 1 & 2 (Ep. 401 & 402)

Jerry is performing on the Tonight Show and has an extra plane ticket, so he invites George to come with him to track down Kramer. Kramer is in LA doing auditions for various things and trying to get someone to take his treatment for his movie, "The Keys." He meets a girl and has lunch with her. While in the restaurant, he sees Fred Savage and approaches him to give him his script that he's written up. This only scares him away when Kramer turns his table over and babbles on about it being fate that they met.

Jerry ends up messing up his routine on the Tonight Show because the maid in the hotel threw away his napkin that had his jokes written on them. Backstage, George approaches and annoys Corbin Bernsen and George Wendt trying to carry on a conversation with them. The girl Kramer had lunch with turns up dead carrying Kramer's script and he's immediately suspected of the being the "Smog Strangler", a serial killer loose in the LA area. Jerry and George find this out on the news backstage at the Tonight Show.

They immediately call the police to tell them that Kramer is not the "Smog Strangler." Since they don't know where the Police Station is, some officers come to pick them up on their way back to the station. On their way they spot a guy trying to break into a car and pick him up. Jerry and George get into an argument with him over how much to tip a maid. Again before they get to the station they are called in to assist with the arrest of Kramer, aka the "Smog Strangler." When they get there Jerry and George get out, but George leaves the door open and the arrested man escapes.

Kramer is taken into custody, but while he's being interogated the "Smog Strangler" strikes again. This means that Kramer is innocent and free to go. Jerry and George try to convince him to come back to New York, but he says his life is too good and decides to stay. After they get back and are sitting in Jerry's apartment Kramer comes in to get food, announcing that he is back. They also find out from the news that the guy that George let go was the real "Smog Strangler."

Interesting facts: Elaine was not in these episodes because Julia Louis-Dreyfus was recovering from delivering her son at the time.

Interesting quote:
Kramer: "I met a girl."
Jerry: "Kramer, she was murdered!"
Kramer: "Yeah, well, you know, I wasn't looking for a long-term relationship."

Grade: A- (Funny episode, but not in the way it normally is. Unique to see them go on a trip to LA instead of being in NY all the time).

The Keys (Ep. 322)

Jerry gets irritated because Kramer keeps coming into his apartment using his spare keys at inopportune times (late at night, when he has to use the bathroom, and when he's with a girlfriend). This causes him to take his spare keys back from Kramer and give them to Elaine. Kramer takes his spare keys back from Jerry to give to George. Kramer tells George to take his keys back from Elaine to give to him because he says they are "key brothers" now. Elaine asks George for her spare keys back from him to give to Jerry, but he doesn't have them on him.

In the meantime, Jerry locks himself out of his apartment and calls Elaine to get his spare keys so that he can get back in. She doesn't answer, so he calls George to let him into Elaine's apartment to look for his spare keys. George doesn't feel right about "breaking" into Elaine's apartment, but does it anyway. While they are in her apartment they discover a script Elaine is writing for Murphy Brown. She catches them looking through her stuff and she takes her spare keys back from George and gives Jerry his spare keys back.

Jerry and George go to Kramer's apartment to see if they can figure out where he's at. At that time, Newman stops by and tells them where he's gone to...LA. He apparently caught the acting bug after his line, "these pretzels are making me thirsty" in the Woody Allen movie. We see Kramer making his way across the country via car (before it breaks down), hitchiking with crazy hippies, and riding on the back of a motorcycle. At the end of the show, the gang minus Kramer are watching TV in Jerry's apartment when they spot Kramer on an episode of Murphy Brown.

Interesting fact: First cliffhanger episode of the show.

Interesting quote: "Don't you see? You're avoiding the middleman. You would giver her her keys, which she would give to me. So instead of giving them to her, you give them to me. Unfortunately, when she gave you yours, you didn't give her hers. Because then she'd give them to me because she has mine. Then I wouldn't have to ask you for hers so that I could get mine." - Jerry

Grade: B+ (funny, even though it's just a set up for the next episode)

Pray for: China

Something I started doing back in college but stopped doing was picking a country, learning about it, and then praying for the needs of that country. I think too often here in America, we get trapped in our little bubble and seem to think that we are the most important thing in the world. This is not a good thing because it is absolutely against what we learn in the Bible. The message of Jesus Christ is for all people, not just for "your" people. So to start this off again I, for obvious reasons, chose China to focus on.

President: Hu Jintao

Population: 1.33 billion

Capital: Beijing

Religions: Officially athiest, Buddhist (3%), Christianity (3%)

Issues: Despite recent talk of the booming economy in China, 80% or roughly 1 billion of their population still lives below the poverty line. Christianity is increasing albeit mostly underground. The government now allows it to be practiced, but only under their conditions and under their watchful eye. Which brings me to another issue. The government is very controlling of what their people know and of what outsiders know about their country. I would say pray for the government to begin to take care of all of their people better, that the President would take great pride in his enormous task, and that Christianity would continue to spread.

The Parking Space (Ep. 321)

George and Elaine are returning from the flea market with George driving and are looking for a parking space when they spot one in front of Jerry's building. George goes to back in to the parking space while another guy tries to pull in straight; this causes them both to get out of the car to argue who's space it is. Come to find out, the other guy, Mike, is there to watch the fight that Jerry is showing at his apartment. Jerry and Kramer come out to help resolve the issue and they all end up staying out there trying to sort things out. Pretty soon the entire neighborhood, Police officers included, are involved in deciding over who was right. Finally Jerry decides that he's not going to stand out there arguing any longer and decides to go in to watch the fight. When he gets there, the fight is just ending...and really just beginning outside.

Interesting quote:
George: "I got all discombobulated when Elaine messed with the mirror."
Elaine: "Oh come on, you've never been bobulated in your life."

Grade: C (not really all that spectacular of an episode)

The Letter (Ep. 320)

Jerry is dating a painter, Nina, who is painting a portrait of Kramer. Him and George go to see her and she gives them tickets from her dad, the Yankees accountant, in the owner's box for the Yankees game. Jerry can't go, but George, Elaine, and Kramer take the tickets. While at the game, someone asks Elaine to take off her Orioles cap because it would be offensive to the owner, but she refuses and causes an uproar. This is not good for Elaine because she told Mr. Lippman she was going to see her dad for the weekend to get out of going to his grandson's bris. This is worsened when she realizes they make the sports section of the next days paper.

Nina gets upset because Elaine wouldn't take off her Orioles cap while sitting in seats that she gave to them and they get into an argument and they break up. She leaves a letter for him at his apartment that blows him away and he immediately gets back together with her. Later that day, him and Elaine and George are flipping channels and they stop on a movie and discover that the letter that she wrote was quoted straight from the movie. He lets her know that he knows and he ends the relationship.

Elaine is worried that Mr. Lippman will see her in the sports section, but he apparently doesn't. Later though he is talking to his friend, Nina's dad, and he tell him about the incident, but Mr. Lippman doesn't realize it was Elaine. He gets tickets from his friend to the Yankees game and invites Elaine to come with him. He tells her that since she's an Orioles fan to bring her since it will be funny. She does and it causes a problem once again.

Interesting quote: "I like the button fly. That is one place in my wardrobe I don't need sharp interlocking metal teeth." - Jerry

Grade: B (Funny in moments, mostly when Kramer is involved)

The Good Samaritan (Ep. 319)

Jerry witnesses a person hit a parked car and drive off. He follows the person to confront them, but can't confront her because it's a woman that he's attracted to. He ends up asking her out and they start dating. He tells Elaine that he followed the person into Queens and that it was a guy and they got into a shoving match.

Elaine wants Jerry to go to dinner with her with a couple friend of hers, but he's got a date with the hit and run woman. George agrees to go with her so that she doesn't have to suffer through their "wonderful" stories of being married by herself. The wife sneezes and after the husband doesn't respond, George says, "God bless you." The husband gets offended that George said it instead of letting him say it, and they start fighting.

Jerry finds out from Kramer that the person who's car got hit is Becky Gelky, a girl that Jerry has been attracted to for some time, but hasn't had the nerve to talk to. He goes to tell her that he is going to find the person that hit her car. He confronts his girlfriend about hitting that car, but she won't admit to it and won't pay for it. He tells Becky that he will pay for it and get the person to pay him back, but this gives Becky the impression that he was actually the one who hit the car.

George ends up getting a call from the wife asking him to meet her and they end up sleeping together. This makes the husband threaten to "sew [George's] ass to his face." Also, Kramer ends up getting a date with Becky Gelky, but when he goes to her house she has Entertainment Tonight on and he starts have seizures because of the sound of Mary Hart's voice.

Interesting quote: "You know if you want to make a person feel better after they sneeze you shouldn't say, 'God Bless You' you should say, 'You're soooo good looking'."

Grade: B- (Decently funny episode)

I have been diagnosed...

with a healthy obsession of Relient K. For a time I wasn't impressed, but I am again impressed and infatuated. Their last cd Five Score and Seven Years Ago was good, but didn't really get me like all their other stuff. Their latest cd though The Birds and the Bee Sides has me loving them all over again. My brother let me borrow his copy the other day and I can't stop listening. It just amazes me how much this group has grown since I started listening to them back 8 years ago. Here's the lyrics for one of the newest songs off their album called, "The Last, the Lost, the Least." Enjoy!

Live a life of privilege

Pushing back the last, the lost, the least

The least of these

To dull the edge of conscience

With conceit

Live a life and see the world

Feel its weight on the shoulders

Of the least of these

It spins and twirls

Without rest of relief

We all, we all wear dignity

It covers the strong, the weak

We all, we all wear dignity

Even the last, the lost, the least

Step into a spacious place

Where pride and right will give way
To the least of these

To know the face

Of who a man can be

His image shown

When we give our lives, our time, our own

To feed, to clothe

Those in His image we have left alone

We all, we all wear dignity

God help the blind like me

Finding at last a voice we cry

And see with clear, unblinking eyes

The Limo (Ep. 318)

George goes to pick up Jerry from the airport, but his car breaks down on the way. Instead of waiting to get a ride from a taxi they decide to take someone named O'Brien's limo ride that's waiting at the airport. They get in, excited that they actually did it when they learn they are going to Madison Square Gardens and have 4 passes. They assume these 4 passes have to be for the Bulls/Knicks game and immediately call up Elaine and Kramer and tell them to meet them outside of the apartment. The limo driver then stops to pick up some other passengers. The other passengers know O'Brien, but don't know what he looks like and so don't realize that George is not really O'Brien. A little bit later George and Jerry discover that O'Brien is actually a neo-Nazi and head of the Mid-west chapter of the Aryan Union. They pick up Elaine and Kramer who ride with them to Madison Square Gardens. About that time, O'Brien calls the limo and the other passengers discover that George is not really O'Brien. They kick all 4 of them out amidst the riot at Madison Square Gardens.

Interesting quote: Amazingly there is not one.

Grade: F (Worse than The Dog episode)

The Fix-Up (Ep. 317)

Jerry and Elaine decide to fix up their lonely and desperate friends George and Cynthia. They agree to tell each other every detail that they learn from George and Cynthia and immediately set out to convince them that it's a good idea. It takes some work, but after a good phone call between George and Cynthia they set up a date. George is telling Jerry and Elaine about the great conversation when Kramer comes in. He tells them that his friend, Bob Sacamano, got a job working at a condom factory and he got free samples. He tells Elaine, "Here Elaine, take half a bag." She says, "What do I look like? A hooker?" George decides to take one because "you never know."

Turns out he did need it because at the end of his date, him and Cynthia end up having sex in his kitchen. He calls and tells Jerry and tells him not to tell Elaine and Cynthia tells Elaine not to tell Jerry. Neither Jerry or Elaine tells the other. The next day, Cynthia tells Elaine that she's missed her period and that she's never late. Kramer also comes in a tells Jerry that the condoms were defective. George finds all this out when he walks in on an argument that Jerry and Elaine are having with her telling him that Cynthia is pregnant. George is actually not upset, but happy that he is able to actually father a child. He goes to Cynthia's house and tells her that he will be there for her to support her in any way necessary, but she tells him she got her period.

Interesting quote: "I'm a father! I did it! My boys can swim!" - George

Grade: B+ (Some good laughs, but still ranks pretty low on my list)

2 Years in Movies

So I decided to do something that I'm not sure whether to be proud of or embarassed of, but I thought it was interesting. This is a list of just about all the DVDs that Kim and I watched since last January either in the theater or rented. I compiled these from memory and from our rental history off Blockbuster and Netflix online. It's over 140 movies altogether and it doesn't include DVDs that we watched that we owned. If there is no name beside the title then both Kim and I watched it, if it has one of our names that means only that person watched it. We have probably watched more, but I only included those that we saw at least half of (some were so bad that we didn't make it very far). Also, I wouldn't recommend a good handful of these movies that we did see.

200 Cigarettes
27 Dresses
3 Needles
3:10 to Yuma
A Good Year
A Mighty Heart
Across the Universe
ALF: Season 1 (Nick)
Apocalypto
Arrested Development: Season 1
Arrested Development: Season 2
Arrested Development: Season 3
Atonement
August Rush
Away From Her
Babel
Be Kind Rewind (Nick)
Because I Said So
Becoming Jane
Best in Show
Blades of Glory
Blood Diamond
Bowling for Columbine
Breach
Capote
Children of Men
Come Early Morning
Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 1
Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 2
Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 3
Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 4
Daddy's Little Girls
Dan in Real Life
Disturbia
Election
Elizabeth
Evan Almighty
Extras: Season 1
Factory Girl
Fast Food Nation
Feast of Love
Flight of the Conchords: Season 1
For Your Consideration
Fracture
Freaks and Geeks: The Complete Series
Freedomland
Friends with Money
Ghost
God Grew Tired of Us
Gone Baby Gone
Good Night and Good Luck
Grease
Great World of Sound
Griffin and Phoenix
Hairspray (Kimberly)
Half Nelson
Hannah Takes the Stairs
Hard Candy
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Horton Hears a Who
Hot Rod
I'm Not There
In the Bedroom
In the Land of Women
Into the Wild
Jesus Camp
Jindabyne
Juno
Knocked Up (Nick)
La Vie En Rose
Lars and the Real Girl
Lucky Number Slevin
Michael Clayton
Mistress of Spices (Kimberly)
Mr. Brooks
Murderball
Music and Lyrics
Must Love Dogs
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
No Country For Old Men (Nick)
No Reservations
North County
Notes on a Scandal
Oceans Thirteen
Offside
Once
Opal Dream
Open Season
Pan's Labyrinth
Paris, Je T'aime (Kimberly)
Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End
Prince Caspian (Nick)
PS I Love You
Ratatouille
Real Women Have Curves (Kimberly)
Reign Over Me
Romulus, My Father
Sex and the City: Season 1 (Kimberly)
Shattered Glass
Sherry Baby
Shooter
Shrek the Third
SpiderMan 3
Standing Still
Superbad (Nick)
The Borne Ultimatum
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion
The Darjeeling Limited
The Dark Knight (Nick)
The Dead Girl
The Good German
The Karate Kid (Nick)
The King of Kong: Fist Full of Quarters
The Kite Runner
The Last King of Scotland
The Namesake
The Night Listener
The Number 23
The Painted Veil
The Pursuit of Happyness
The Simpsons Movie
The Three Burials of Melquiedas Estrada
There Will Be Blood (Nick)
TMNT (Nick)
Transformers
Tully
U2: Rattle and Hum
U2-3D
Waitress
Wall*E
Wedding Wars
Who Killed the Electric Car
Why Did I Get Married
Wilby Wonderful
Wild Hogs
X-Files: I Want to Believe
X-Files: Season 1
X-Files: Season 2
X-Files: Season 3
X-Files: Season 4
Year of the Dog

Nomah lives!!

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/recap?gid=280813119

The Boyfriend Part 1 & 2 (Ep. 315 & 316)

This is going to be long because it's two episodes into one for a full hour of gloriousness!

Jerry and George meet Keith Hernandez in the locker room of the gym that they attend and he tells Jerry that he's a big fan of his comedy. This excites Jerry since Keith Hernandez is one of his favorite players of all-time and they exchange phone numbers. Jerry then gets upset because it's been a few days and Keith still hasn't called. He starts wondering how long he should wait before calling him.

George is going to the unemployment office to try to keep his unemployment money coming in. In order to do so, he has to convince them that he's doing job interviews. He tells the lady that he interview for a job a Vandalay Industries to be their latex salesman. Of course, this is not a real company so he gives them Jerry's address and phone number as a contact for the company. He has to run to Jerry's apartment to explain that he has to answer the phone "Vandalay Industries" so that George can keep getting his money. Kramer ends up answering the phone, but doesn't know what's going on and therefore ruins the entire plan for George. George's next idea is to inquire about the Labor worker's less than attractive daughter. This gets her attention and she let's him go provided he go on a few dates with her. After a while, the daughter breaks up with George and this plan falls through as well. His last hope is to convince the Labor worker that he is good friends with Keith Hernandez and can get him to come in person to the office.

Kramer finds out that Jerry is hanging out with Keith, but this is exactly what Jerry doesn't want to happen because him and Newman have had it out for Keith since June 14, 1987 when he supposedly spit on them. Jerry reenacts this "JFK"esque scene for Elaine explaining the whole event, and then surmises that it couldn't have been Keith, that there must have been a second spitter.

Keith asks Jerry if he can ask Elaine out and he says that's fine, but then regrets. He asks her out and she says yes, but Jerry starts to get jealous. Elaine though, is unsure of whether he's jealous of Keith or of her. He then also asks Jerry to help him move, which Jerry agrees to, but then regrets that as well because he thinks it's a big step in a relationship with a guy. Things go well for Keith and Elaine until he pulls out a cigarette to light up and she ends the whole thing because she can't stand smokers. Jerry also calls things off with Keith, saying the relationship is moving too fast. Keith and Kramer then bump into each other in Jerry's apartment and Keith explains that it was Jack McDowell who spit on him and Newman, not him.

In the end, Kramer and Newman help Keith move and George fails to get Keith down to the Labor Office because Jerry "broke up" with him.

Interesting fact: Jerry in real life was very nervous about meeting and working with Keith because he is a big Mets and Keith Hernandez fan.

Interesing quote:
Keith: "Elaine, you don't know the first thing about first base."
Elaine: "I know you'll never get there."
Keith: "The way I see it, I've already been there and about 11 o'clock tonight I'll be rounding second base."
Elaine: "Well, I would check with the third base coach if I were you because I don't think he's waving you in."

Grade: A+ (One of the best episodes that Seinfeld ever did)

The Pez Dispenser (Ep. 314)

George is dating a concert pianist, but is upset because he has no upper hand in the relationship because she's so smart and talented. He invites Jerry and Elaine to come to one of her recitals and dinner afterwards so that she will see him with his friends and have more respect for him. During the recital, Jerry places a Pez Dispenser that he got from Kramer on Elaine's lap and she starts giggling at first and then into full on laughter. This causes George's girlfriend to get distracted and mess up in her recital. Obviously, she is upset and doesn't feel like going to dinner with them so George again loses out on gaining any upper hand.

Elaine runs into John Molicka, a former bartender for the comedy club Jerry used to work at, and he tells her about Richie, a former comedian friend who is into drugs pretty bad. She suggests an intervention, but he says it would only work if Jerry were there because he respects Jerry. Kramer suggests to George that he do a preemptive break-up with his girlfriend to get the upper hand and it works. Later they stop by Jerry's apartment while everyone is waiting around for the intervention. His girlfriend hears Elaine laughing and realizes she was the one laughing during the recital. This causes her to break up with him.

Interesting fact: Kramer was the orginal Ace at First Base. "Kramer was our first baseman. You couldn't get anything by him. He was unbelievable."

Intersting quote: "A man without hand is not a man. I got so much hand, I'm coming out my gloves." - George

Grade: A (The silliness of the Pez dispenser and Elaine's infectious laugh makes this perfect.)

King of Kong: Fist Full of Quarters

This is a movie (documentary to be exact) that Kim and I watched the other day and I just had to recommend it. It's about this guy who is laid off from his job and in his new free time decides to try to beat the all-time scoring record on the original arcade version of Donkey Kong. What starts out as a silly idea turns into a fascinating and inspiring story.

I won't give away the details of the movie, but basically what I got out of the movie was this: Be proud of your accomplishments regardless of what anyone else has to say about them or whether or not anyone recognizes them. Also, always be the bigger person, it pays off in the end.

Rent the movie!! It's worth it!

The Subway (Ep. 313)

Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer all meet up at Monk's before going their separate ways on the Subway. Jerry is going to Coney Island to get his car that was stolen out of the impound lot, George is going for a job interview, Elaine is going to a lesbian wedding, and Kramer is going to court to pay off all of his tickets he's accumulated.

Jerry ends up falling asleep on the long Subway ride only to wake up across from an overweight exhibitionist. He ends up talking to the guy and they spend the day at Coney Island together eating and riding rides. George meets a beautiful woman on the Subway and decides to go with her to her hotel room instead of to his interview. It turns out she was just robbing him and when she finds out that he doesn't have any money, she takes his clothes. Elaine gets stuck on the Subway when it breaks down. She has a nervous breakdown and also misses the wedding. Kramer overhears a tip for a horse and goes to the track instead. He puts his entire $600 that was for the tickets towards the horse and wins big.

Interesting fact: The first episode where each actor filmed separate from the others.

Interesting quote: "I get the idea that when a lesbian looks at me they're saying to themselves: That's why I'm not a heterosexual." - George

Grade: A- (Simple plot, but very well executed. Once again Elaine steals the show with her breakdown on the Subway)

Rays of Sunshine!

Today I dedicate this post (my 100th I might add) to the Tampa Bay Rays. I am a Boston Red Sox fan, and the Tampa Bay Rays play in the Sox division, but you just can't help but be excited following them. Yesterday they got their team record 71st victory of the season and they still have 45 games left. There is just a different attitude on the team this year from the last 11 years.

It just amazes me because for years people have said that Tampa Bay, Toronto, and Baltimore would never be able to win that division so long as Boston and New York were competitive. News flash, Boston has the 4th best record in baseball and they are still 4.5 games back from Tampa. Needless to say, I'm impressed. Go Rays Go!

The Suicide (Ep. 312)

Jerry's neighbor Martin tries to commit suicide after his girlfriend Gina breaks up with him. She then hits on Jerry in the hospital room while Martin is in a coma. He likes her, but is scared of Martin waking up and getting mad. Newman threatens to tell Martin about Jerry and Gina when he wakes up. Elaine has to fast for 3 days because of an ulcer test, and starts to get delusional because of her lack of food. George is going to take a vacation to the Cayman Islands, but gets an ominous message from a Psychic of something bad that is going to happen. She stops in the middle of her message though because Elaine makes her mad and George is going crazy trying to find out what is going to happen. He ends up giving his ticket to Kramer instead of going.

Kramer comes back telling of Sports Illustrated shooting their swimsuit issue on the beach he was at and him and the models going to a local nude beach. The one bad thing that did happen was getting stung on the foot by a jellyfish. Jerry offers a Drake Coffee Cake to Newman to keep him from telling Martin, but then Elaine comes in and takes the cake from him. This prompts him to tell Martin has he wakes up and Martin and Gina get back together.

Interesting fact: First on-camera appearance of Newman. He made an off-camera appearance in Episode 212.

Interesting quote: "Who goes on vacation without a job? What do you need a break from getting up at 11?" - Jerry

Grade: A- (The addition of Newman is perfect and Elaine's starved paranoia is priceless!)

The Red Dot (Ep. 311)

Jerry accidently puts Elaine's alcoholic drink near her sobering up boyfriend and he falls back off the wagon. Meanwhile, Elaine gets George a job at Pendant Publishing reading and evaluating novels. George wants to thank her and so he gets a cashmere sweater that has been severely marked down because it has a tiny red dot on it. When he gives it to her Kramer notices the red dot and points it out to her. She keeps asking whether George knew about it or not when he bought the sweater, but Jerry won't tell. Later, she tricks George into admitting it and gives him the sweater back. After getting his job, he ends up sleeping with the cleaning lady on his desk. Then to prevent her from ratting him out he gives her the sweater, unfortunately she sees the dot and rats him out anyway. The show ends with Elaine's mad, drunk ex-boyfriend storming into the office and Elaine, George, and Jerry hiding under George's desk. George offers him the sweater, but he too notices the red dot.

Interesting quote: "I don't know whether it was the alcohol or the ammonia, but next thing I knew she was mopping the floor with me." - George

Grade: C+ (Kind of a dull episode, but it had it's moments)

The Alternate Side (Ep. 310)

Jerry gets his car stolen when the guy who moves his car leaves the keys in the ignition. George agrees to take over the job while the guy is on vacation in Florida. This proves to be a little more daunting than George expected and he ends up wrecking the rental car that Jerry took out. Unfortunately, he wrecked it with the ambulance that was coming to pick up Elaine's 60 year old boyfriend who was having a stroke at Jerry's apartment.

Kramer gets a line in a Woody Allen movie after making him laugh when he trips as an extra. His line is "these pretzels are making me thirsty" as he sits at a bar next to Woody. The movie gets delayed because of George backing up traffic with his moving cars. Kramer ends up getting fired from his line after he breaks his beer mug and some of the glass hits Kramer.

Interesting fact: The first "job" that Kramer ever has on the show.

Interesting quote: "Yeah, give me the insurance because I am going to beat the hell out of this car." - Jerry

Grade: B+ (Pretty funny, love the way plots collide)

The Nose Job (Ep. 309)

George is dating a girl who is perfect except for the fact that she has a big nose. He doesn't want to tell her because he knows that is the only thing keeping her from being with someone better. Finally, Kramer being Kramer just flat out tells her, "you just as pretty as any other girl, you just need a nose job." This gets her thinking and pretty soon she decides to get a nose job. George has mixed reactions for obvious reasons, but is overall excited. The big day comes for her to remove the bandages and it's bad. The doctor has messed everything up and her nose has caved in. This is too much for George to handle and he breaks up with her.

Jerry meets a girl on an elevator using a random pick-up line, but now can't stand her but can't end it because he loves the sex. After so long though, his brain and his penis have a battle and his brain wins...he breaks up with her.

Kramer is still stuck on getting this jacket back from his mom's ex-boyfriend. He gets Elaine to pretend to be the guy's daughter and she goes to get the jacket from his apartment. He gets the jacket back and he ends up with George's ex-girlfriend when it's all said and done.

Interesting facts: We first learn Kramer's mom's name...Babs.

Interesting quote: "You know, I'm responsible for the crop circles in England." - Jerry's pick up line

Grade: B- (Kind of funny in spots)

The Tape (Ep. 308)

Jerry listens to a tape of his show only to find some woman has left a sultry message on the tape anonymously. He, George, and Kramer are stunned at this and can't get enough. Later, Elaine confesses to George that it was her on the tape, but makes George swear not to tell Jerry. This only leads George to develop a sudden attraction for Elaine.

George orders a hair cream from China that is supposed to help him regrow his hair, but it stinks and he's embarassed to have it on with Elaine around. Pretty soon, he can't hold out any longer and he not only tells Jerry that he's attracted to Elaine, but that Elaine was the voice on the tape. This drives Jerry and Kramer to the same craziness as George and they look at Elaine in a whole new light.

Interesting quote: "I'd like to slide my tongue all over your body like a snake." - Elaine (voice on the tape)

Grade: B- (only moments were funny, overall it kind of dragged)

The Cafe (Ep. 307)

Jerry feels bad for a Pakistani restaurateur named Babu Bhatt who seems to be unsuccessful so he visits his restaurant. He makes several suggestions, one of which is to change the menu from strange American food (franks and beans) to an all Pakistani menu. Babu agrees that this is a very good suggestion and promptly closes down his restaurant to readjust it to a Pakistani restaurant. Not good, nobody shows up and Babu eventually has to shut down the restaurant altogether.

George's girlfriend, Monica, is a Psychology student who wants to give him an IQ test as part of her research. George for obvious reasons is terrified of this thought. He confides to Jerry that his 1409 on the SAT is a lie, but doesn't say what the real score is. He convinces Elaine, who claims a 145 IQ, to take the test for him. She decides to take it in Babu's cafe, but ends up getting distracted by Kramer and Babu...she gets an 85. She talks George into asking for a retake so she can improve her score. He gets the test for her again and she takes it in Jerry's apartment, but this time is held up by Kramer hiding out in Jerry's apartment. She doesn't finish in time and Monica finds out. She does learn at the end of the show that she got a 151.

Kramer is hiding from a man who wants the jacket that Kramer is wearing. Kramer says the guy was a boyfriend of his mom's and left it at her place over 2 years ago. He doesn't want to give it up because it gets him the ladies. In the end, the guy gets the jacket back.

Interesting fact: Brian Georges who plays Babu is not Pakistani, but British.

Interesting quote: "You are one fascinating man, George Costanza." - Monica

Grade: B

The Parking Garage (Ep. 306)

Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer are lost in the parking garage at a mall in Jersey. Not really lost, but they can't find Kramer's car. Kramer is carrying around a massive air conditioning unit, Elaine has a goldfish, George has to meet his parents in front of his building at 6:15 (it's 5 when they leave the mall), and Jerry has to pee. Kramer eventually hides the air conditioner while they walk around looking for the car. He convinces Jerry to pee in a corner of the parking garage by telling him that he's too cautious, and Jerry gets caught by mall security. Elaine leaves to look on a different level, and while she's gone, Kramer convinces George to pee in a corner of the garage also. He too gets caught by the same security guard.

Jerry and George get released by the security guard and find Elaine, who is hysterical because her goldfish is dying. They walk around continuing to look for the car and all the while asking people to drive them around the deck. Nobody seems willing to do it for them, until a woman George is attracted to agrees to do it. Somehow they make her mad and she slams on the brakes forcing them to get out. Luckily, she dumps them out right in front of Kramer's car. Still no Kramer, but he shows up a minute later with his air conditioner. It is now 7:45 and George is late to meet his parents. They get in the car to leave, but the car does not start.

Interesting fact: First appearance of Kramer driving a car. The car not starting at the end was not in the script. The car was just such a piece of junk, when they finally got in it, it wouldn't start. It obviously worked perfectly for the show.

Interesting quote: "I don't carry around pens, I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum." - George

Grade: A- (Not as funny as The Chinese Restaurant, but still very intelligent writing)

A sad day for the Atlanta Braves...

As if things weren't going bad enough for the Braves, this morning it was announced that long time announcer Skip Carey died in his sleep. The son of famous Cubs announcer, Harry Carey, Skip had been announcing Braves games since the late 70s. We'll miss you Skip.

"Braves win, Braves win!"

The Pen (Ep. 305)

Jerry and Elaine go down to his parents condo in Florida so that Jerry can give a speech for a ceremony that his dad is being honored at. What starts things off is a visit from Jack Klompus a "friend" of Morty Seinfeld's who is also emceeing the event. He pulls out an astronaut pen (you can write upside down with it) and Jerry comments on how neat it is. He offers it, Jerry refuses, he insists, Jerry refuses again, he offers one more time, and Jerry takes it. This turns out to be a mistake as Jack starts gossiping around the complex that Jerry pretty much took it from him.

Elaine meanwhile ends up sleeping on a pull out sofa that causes her so much back pain she can't go scuba diving with Jerry. Jerry goes anyway and ends up busting capilaries in his eyes giving him two black eyes. Elaine then takes muscle relaxers so that she can go to the ceremony and Jerry is wearing sunglasses to cover up the black eyes. Before the ceremony, Elaine meets Jerry's Aunt Stella and launches into an imitation of Rocky Balboa yelling out, "Stella, Stella!"

Jerry eventually gives the pen back to Jack to stop all the fuss, and Morty gets upset that Jack would take the pen back. This causes them to have an all out fight at the ceremony that puts the Seinfeld's at risk for being kicked out of the community. Elaine sees a chiropractor who tells her she can't go anywhere for 5 days, forcing them to stay longer.

Interesting fact: This is the only episode of the entire series that didn't have George in it. Apparently, Jason Alexander threatened to leave the show if he was written out of another episode.

Interesting quote: "This better be good, I'm missing the Golden Girls for this." - Jerry's Aunt Stella

Grade: A (One of my favorites of all time! Good the whole way through)

The Library (Ep. 304)

Jerry is being investigated by the library detective because of a book, Tropic of Cancer, that he supposedly didn't return in 1971. They go down to the library to sort things out and George thinks a bum on the library steps is his and Jerry's old gym teacher from 8th grade. Mr. Heyman, the gym teacher used to call George "Can't Stand Ya" instead of Costanza and he also gave him a wedgie, prompting George to tattle on him and get him fired. Kramer also gets involved with the Marion, the librarian. Jerry eventually remembers that he gave the book to George right before he got his famous wedgie from Mr. Heyman and that Heyman must have gotten the book. George goes to confront the bum on the library steps to see if it's Mr. Heyman,and he ends up getting a wedgie from him...an atomic one.

Interesting fact: This is the first episode to feature Jerry's bike hanging on the wall in his apartment.

Interesting quote:
"Boys are sick." - Elaine
"What do girls do?" - Jerry
"We just tease someone until they develop an eating disorder." - Elaine

Grade: B+ (Very good episode...Can't Stand Ya!)